who_is_she | (home improvement sound)

Current Mood: stressed

(home improvement sound)

This was hell. Tony kept saying that to himself, He wasn't built for this kind of... Excitement. He didn't crave danger, nor was he good in urgent situations, like when scavengers disable your ship and then try to kill everyone on board. Tony was cowering behind a crate where he and Roddie had been pinned down, trying to keep out of sight while Roddie shot at the bandits with his arm, which had temporarily transformed into a huge energy gun. Tony knew Roddie's cybernetic parts were almost out of power, but that didn't stop him from running out from behind the crates to get a better shot at the remaining bandits. Then, one of the scavengers clipped Roddie's metal shoulder with an energy gun. Roddie swore loudly as sparks arced over his arm and leg, and then glowed brightly before going dark. The scavenger lands another shot, this one hitting Roddie square in the chest, and Tony's world narrows to that one tiny point.

"Roddie, no!" Tony screams when he sees Roddie stumble and then collapse. Behind the scavengers Boscha bellows and advances on them, yelling something about nobody hurting her friends that Tony doesn't hear. He runs over to Roddie and collapses on his knees at his side, not caring about being in the line of fire because this can't be it.

"Roddie, Roddie, no, don't you fucking dare," he chants, all the stress and anxiety and drama of the last several weeks falling away because none of that matters, Roddie's hurt and there is nothing in the world that could tear him from his side, "Don't you dare die on me or I will kill you, all right?" His hands cup Roddie's neck and find a pulse, strong and reassuring, and a little of the fear washes away.

"The scavengers are taken care of," Boscha says through the communicator, and Vira lets out a whoop.

"Roddie's hurt," Tony says, touching his hand to his ear, "I need help."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's silence over the intercom for a few moments, before Vira finally speaks up.

"Anthony," she says, her voice muffled, as though she is covering her mouth, "N-none of us are trained to handle medical emergencies. Where are you two?"

As she's talking to Tony, Roddies eye flutter halfway open, and he moves his working hand to clutch at the wound in his chest. His breathing is strained and scarce. He mumbles Tony's name, and opens his mouth to say more, but nothing comes out.

"I can-- I know a little. Enough to help but I-- I need any medical supplies you have," Tony says, his voice shaking badly as he reaches out to pull Roddie's hand away from his chest. He turns off the communicator in order to talk to Roddie.

"Roddie, don't try to talk," Tony says, putting his fingers over Roddie's mouth, "And don't even think about passing out on me." He reaches down, tearing open Roddie's shirt to get a better look at the wound on his chest and studiously does not think about tearing off Roddie's shirt under other circumstances. The gun had been electricity based, so Roddie's not losing much blood, but there's still a wide burn on his chest.

"We need to get to help. Now," Tony says into the communicator again.

"The engine's dead," comes Zakeef's voice, as toneless as ever even in the middle of a crisis, "But there's a space station not too far from here. The scavenger's ship is still out there and it has a powerful tractor beam. We can tow the ship to the station."

"Do it," Tony says, folding over the torn parts of Roddie's shirt and pressing it into the wound on his chest.

Vira exits the ship in one of the two escape pods, flying out to commandeer the scavengers' ship. Zakeef and Boscha join Tony in the bridge, where he's crouched over Roddie's limp body.

Roddie fights the urge to let his eyes close, even though his vision is getting black. He focuses on Tony's face as he tries to control his breathing, and finds himself slipping back into thoughts he'd been repressing now for months. He had such a pretty face.

He removes his hand from his chest as instructed, and instead places it on Tony's neck.

There were worse ways to die than this.

Tony's heart is thudding in his chest from the fear of losing Roddie, even if he wasn't his to lose. When Roddie reaches out to touch his neck Tony closes his eyes and puts his own hand over Roddie's, just enjoying the contract for a brief moment.

When Zakeef thuds down their first aid supplies a moment later, Tony opens his eyes to see that Roddie's are closed.

---

Almost six hours later Roddie is spread out on a bed in the infirmary, white bandages stretched across his bare chest and his metal limbs bent awkwardly away from his body, as they had locked up when he'd been shot.

Tony was dozing lightly at his bedside, sitting in a stool and hunched over the bed, his forehead resting on the covers. One of his hands was curled loosely around Roddie's hand, two fingers pressed against the inside of his wrist to feel Roddie's pulse.

Roddie groans quietly upon regaining consciousness. Still not mentally all there, he tries fruitlessly to prop himself up a little, before the memory of what had happened hours ago begins to come back to him. He grits his teeth in pain, not nearly numbed enough by whatever painkillers he'd been given, and squints into the darkness of the room. When he sees Tony's form slumped onto the bed next to him, the expression on his face softens, what little animosity he still might have held for him melting away at the sight.

Thinking he is in a deeper sleep than he actually is, he looses his hand from Tony's and places it on his head, running his fingers through Tony's thick, dark hair.

The moment Tony feels cool air under his fingers instead of a warm, thrumming pulse he wakes, startling with fear. He jerks upright and then winces in pain, as Roddie's hand had pulled out a few strands of hair with his sudden movement. Tony looks at Roddie, relief flooding him when he realizes Roddie is conscious, then blushes fiercely when he looks down and sees a few obvious dark hairs curled around Roddie's fingers.

"...Good morning," Tony says finally, awkwardly, because he didn't know what else he would say to the boy whose life he had saved.

Roddie feels his own face flushing when Tony wakes up, catching him in the act of fondly combing his hands through his hair. He tries to shake the loose hairs off his fingers inconspicuously.

"Good morning. To you too," he says, after clearing his throat. He doesn't know what else to say, either, and for a moment he falls silent, looking down at the bandages across his chest.

"You...saved my life, I guess, didn't you," he says, not making eye contact. It's only then that Roddie notices he does not recognize the room that they are in.

"Where are we?"

"I..." Tony considers denying it, claiming that it hadn't been that serious, but Tony is still afraid, the memory of Roddie's gasps of pain and dull, foggy eyes too close to deny, "The doctors said if I hadn't kept you stable you would have died." He chokes a little on that admission, then clears his throat. He sits back, no longer leaning over the bed, putting a little distance between them. Tony is afraid that he's crossed a line, here, that he's shown too much of his heart when he was too scared to put up his barriers.

"Federation Starbase 351," Tony says, finding steadier ground on the exchange of information, "I gave them my credentials and they beamed you right into the medbay."

Roddie makes an attempt to sit up again, to inch closer to him, but is hardly any more successful than the first time with the use of only half his body. It hurts, and he swears quietly in pain as he flops back down onto the bed.

"Well. Uh. Thank you," he laughs, not sure how to express gratitude for being brought back from the brink of death. The memories are still gradually forming in his mind, and he remembers the way Tony had held him, pleading with him not to die, holding the hand that he had placed on his neck. He wants to say something, but has trouble finding the nerve to speak. Just when he starts thinking the moment has passed, to his own surprise as much as anyone's, the words come tumbling out of his mouth.

"You were afraid, weren't you?"

"You're welcome," Tony says quietly, looking down at his lap. He takes his communicator out of his pocket, turning it over in his hands. He should call the others, let them know Roddie's awake, but it's still early enough that even the starbase crew isn't awake. Also, part of Tony wants this quiet moment alone with Roddie, before they have to deal with the outside world and before Tony has to leave. It's strange, being terrified of both leaving and staying at the same time.

At Roddie's words Tony looks up sharply, meeting Roddie's gaze and something crumbles inside him at the look there. Roddie's looking at him like he used to, before the kiss, and Tony feels a sharp ache in his chest. He looks back down at the communicator in his hands before he answers.

"Of course I was," he says quietly, even though he'd meant to deny it, meant to turn on the communicator and put more distance between them. Then he adds, slightly sardonically, "I'm always afraid."

Roddie puzzles at his last words for a minute. He reaches out, timidly, and rests his hand on Tony's forearm, the closest part of him that he can reach without sitting up. Tony looks so small to him right now.

"I'm sorry," he says after a pause, "About...well, everything. I don't want you to be. Afraid, I mean." He tears his eyes away from his face with some effort and looks instead at where his hand is touching his skin. His sleeves are cuffed unevenly, and he straightens them for him absently.

Tony's breath catches in his throat at the words, and as much as they are soothing, they just make him ache more. He doesn't want to be afraid either, he doesn't want Roddie's touch on his arm to make him shake, but it does. He's terrified of taking something he doesn't deserve, terrified of losing something that isn't his, terrified of letting down the people who have never, ever been proud of him.

When Roddie fiddles with his cuff he accidentally puts pressure on his wrist and Tony hisses in pain. He turns his hand over, exposing the bandage around his forearm that had been hidden under his sleeve.

"Your mask was restricting your breathing, but it locked up with your arm and leg when you lost power, so I had to... go into the wiring to release it. I didn't really know what I was doing. Apparently, there was just enough juice left in your arm for one last shot." The blow had only nicked him, but he'd sprained his wrist from jerking back at the impact, "But it got you breathing again."

Roddie sucks in his breath at the sight of Tony's injury. He makes a third attempt to sit up, moving slowly, and was successful this time. He rests Tony's hand on his own knee and reaches for the lever at the side of his bed. Wincing a little as he moves the bed into a more upright position, he leans back again, and takes the opportunity to gently take Tony's hand into his own, inspecting it, careful not to do anything that will cause him further pain.

"Shit," he mumbles softly under his breath, gently sliding his thumb over Tony's palm, "Damn, Tony, I got you good. Have you been icing it?"

Edited 2014-10-29 22:32 (UTC)

Tony has a kneejerk reaction to yank his hand away from Roddie's, but he manages to stifle it. Roddie's hand is warm and gentle and Tony feels his barriers crumbling away in this quiet room with something like desperation. He wants to take shelter in his fear, wants to pull away but he keeps seeing Roddie getting shot over and over, and it just feels so stupid. It feels so stupid to be worrying about not being good enough and his damn parents for god's sake, when Roddie had almost died. He'd been ready to leave, ready to never see Roddie again--but even if they weren't together, never got together, Tony couldn't bear to think about a world without Roddie in it, somewhere.

"Yeah, the doctor gave me something for it. It's fine," he says, his voice low and hoarse, still holding back desperately. Slowly, hesitantly, he curls his fingers upward, wrapping around Roddie's fingers. He can't look at Roddie, can't speak, but he sort of hopes this tiny gesture says the things that he can't voice.

Roddie feels his ears grow hot as Tony laces his fingers with his. He allows his hand to be held for a moment before pulling it away gently and resting it, instead, on Tony's face, stroking his face with his thumb before curling a finger under his chin and tilting his head up to look at him.

His mouth is dry. He looks inside himself for the words to say, but comes up tragically short.

"That's...that's good," he says instead, dumbly, wetting his lips, "Be careful not to bend it,"

Tony's heart sinks for a moment when Roddie pulls his hand away, only for it to jump into his throat when he feels that warm hand on his face. He tilts his head up obligingly when Roddie pulls on his chin, gasping softly when he looks up into Roddie's eyes.

When Roddie opens his mouth, the thing Tony never expected to hear was obvious advice. He laughs a little, helplessly, and he is abruptly fed up with this whole charade. He wants Roddie so bad, wants to be reassured that he's alive and well and going nowhere, and mortifyingly enough he feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes at the realization of what might happen now.

"Roddie," he says, his voice wrecked, humor in his tone turning to overwhelmed emotion, "Roddie, please, I..." he reaches up, wrapping his good hand around Roddie's forearm, closing his eyes and leaning into Roddie's touch, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey," Roddie whispers, trying to keep his own voice steady, "It's all right, everything's okay."

He works his hand around to the nape of his neck and eases him closer, pulling Tony's head down towards his shoulder. All uncertainties he may have had have been swept away by the pleading in Tony's voice, and he kisses the corner of Tony's mouth lightly before resting his cheek against his, hugging him close as best as he could with one good arm.

"It's okay," he says again.

Tony shudders under Roddie's touch, breathless and quaking with emotion as Roddie's mouth presses against his own. Tony slides his stool closer to the bed when Roddie wraps him up in a hug, leaning closer to bury his face in Roddie's shoulder. He lets out a sob, his shoulders shuddering as he lets out the stress of the last eight hours, not to mention the constant anxiety from recent weeks. His good hand splays over the hollow of Roddie's throat and the top of his chest, just above where the bandages start while his injured hand pressed against Roddie's side.

"No, it's not, I," Tony starts to say, his voice muffled against Roddie's skin, "I'm so sorry. I said all those awful things to you and I... I let you think I didn't care and you... You almost died, Roddie," he snarls his last sentence and pulls back, tears on his face and his expression fierce, but after a moment his anger fades, and he goes on more quietly, "You almost died. You almost died not knowing that I... I..." Tony tries to get the words out but he chokes on them, his face crumbling into pain.

Roddie closes his eyes, pressing his lips to the top of his head and giving him another gentle squeeze.

"I know, I know," he says, his voice becoming less stable the harder he tries to keep it so. "It's going to be okay now though. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

He leaves several kisses down the side of Tony's wet face before he speaks again, gently, into his ear.

"I...I love you, okay?"

Tony shivers again at the words whispered in his ear, making a noise that's half whimper and half sob. He'd only barely let himself dream about hearing those words from Roddie, and hearing it now makes Tony melt against Roddie's side. He opens his mouth to speak but the words catch in his throat, so he just nods.

When Roddie says it's all right, Tony almost believes him, and with Roddie's mouth against his face he starts to forget why he ever resisted this. He shifts back a little, just enough to move out of the stool and onto the edge of the bed, gingerly leaning over Roddie. His breathing is still labored, hitching a little with each inward breath and his cheeks are wet but he leans in anyways, putting one hand on the bed next to Roddie's head and stopping with his lips bare millimeters away from Roddie's.

A small smile forms at the edge of Roddie's lips, and he lets his eyes fall half closed. He sweeps away the tears from Tony's face with his thumb before he pulls him the rest of the way in, kissing him soft and slow, the stress of the tension between them melting away warming him from the inside out.

He runs his hand from Tony's face to his neck to his arm to his chest and back up again. Carefully, he guides him further onto the bed with him, encouraging him to put more of his weight on him, that it won't hurt him if he leans further in. Waves of contentment wash over him as he opens his mouth into the kiss.

Tony kisses back hungrily, determined this time to get the deep kiss he'd pulled away from last time. He pushes his tongue into Roddie's mouth, taking his encouragement and pressing himself closer. He puts a knee up on the bed next to Roddie's hip, laying himself carefully over Roddie's chest and putting his hands on either side of Roddie's neck.

Tony makes a low noise in the back of his throat, feeling electric tingling run up his spine and prickle over his scalp at the feel of Roddie's hands. Tony makes a sound again, louder this time, a noise of desperation and want as he finally lets himself enjoy the thing he'd been denying himself for so long.

It wasn't just Roddie, either--it was giving himself over to someone, loving someone, not letting his actions be swayed by fear any longer, and it felt... It felt amazing. It felt like freedom.

Thinking it will ruin the moment, Roddie does his best to stifle a laugh, but it comes out anyway, and he chuckles lightly into Tony's mouth. He's taken aback at his enthusiasm, and returns it eagerly, sucking on his tongue and desperately dragging his fingers through his hair.

He gives a hum of acknowledgement in response to Tony's low moans and breaks apart, kissing along his jaw.

"You okay?" he asks, smiling against his skin, pausing to suck at a spot on his neck.

Edited 2014-10-30 05:13 (UTC)

Tony doesn't know whether or not to be offended at Roddie's laughter, but figures it's par for the course by now, because he'd been crying his eyes out up until a minute or two ago. When Roddie breaks the kiss Tony is breathing hard, his head swimming, and even though the rush of air into his lungs helps to clear his head he doesn't feel any surge of anxiety. Actually, he feels calm--or at least, as calm as possible with Roddie's mouth on his neck.

"Yeah," Tony breathes, tilting his head back to give Roddie more room, "You, uh... What about you? Are you in pain?" Almost before he can finish his question Tony's moaning again as Roddie reaches a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. He immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, mortified at the involuntary sounds he's making.

"Shh-shhh," Roddie laughs quietly, kissing the hand he's holding over his mouth. He's glad Tony's stopped crying, but he's afraid the noises he's making now will draw the attention of the ships' other passengers, if any of them are awake.

"I'm great," he says, keeping his voice low as he returns to his neck, leaving a hickie on the spot he'd been kissing before. "I can't believe it took us so long to...we've been so stupid, Tony."

Tony bites his lip when Roddie sucks hard enough to bruise, nearly drawing blood with how hard he has to bite to keep his sounds muffled. It takes him a long moment to process what Roddie's saying, distracted by hazy pleasure.

Tony laughs a little, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around Roddie's neck.

"I don't know, this is kind of mach speed for me," Tony says, smirking a little, his hands coming up to card through Roddie's hair. Tony's quiet for a long moment, then he shifts back, his tone somber, "You were right, by the way. About... About everything."

Edited 2014-10-30 06:47 (UTC)

Letting his eyes fall shut again, Roddie relaxes, enjoying the feeling of Tony's fingers against his scalp.

"Hmm," he hums. He leans into his touch, not knowing what to say for a moment.

"Well...I'm sorry that I am. I kind of wished this whole time that I'd been wrong, and that I'd been making snap judgements, and...I dunno. I wanted you to be as okay as you seemed to think you were."

Tony laughs hoarsely, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Roddie's collarbone.

"Yeah. I'm not... I'm not okay," he says quietly, and that admission feels like a weight off his shoulders, "I mean--!" Tony sits up again, looking Roddie in the eyes, "Not about this. This is... good. You're good. I don't know what I'm going to do now, but I don't... I don't want to leave and I don't want you to leave." He laces his fingers through Roddie's, surprised by how easily that reassurance had come out, and by how much he'd meant it.

Roddie's smile broadens as he rests his chin on Tony's head and brings the hand clasped in his own up to his mouth to kiss it lightly.

"Tony, you don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that to me."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(home improvement sound)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQwYNca4iog

uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

Re: uuhhuuaahhh?!?!?

what's better than this

i love your crap

Re: i love your crap

Re: i love your crap

Re: i love your crap

Re: i love your crap

Re: i love your crap

Re: i love your crap