who_is_she | it was the heat of the moment telling me what your heart meant

it was the heat of the moment telling me what your heart meant

The ship had been sitting dark in the space station docks for two days before Ayin got the call. The Commander herself gave him the assignment, told him to go meet with the crew who had limped into the station and help them get their ship up and running. She'd said the Captain of the ship was a cyborg whose cybernetics were malfunctioning as well.

Ayin wasn't overly fond of dealing with strangers, but he'd seen their ship when he had been dragged in and it was interesting--the cybernetics seemed interesting as well. In any case, he trusted Commander Wirth and he did what she requested.

Sometimes he wondered if he'd just traded one master for another, because his memories of his time on his home planet were scattered and fuzzy where they weren't terrifying. Commander Wirth, however, had always treated him with gentle respect and seen to his comfort.

When he got to the right dock, his toolbox in one hand, there was a small group of people outside the airlock, all of them talking animatedly. He paused before walking up to the group, hanging back, wary of butting into such a rowdy group.

Then he saw him.

Ayin hadn't seen anyone from his home planet since he'd left, almost fifteen year ago, now. One of the members of the group was like him, he was shorter and his skin was a different shade and his horns were full and long. Ayin wanted to speak up and say something--but what on earth could he say? Hey, we're the same species, let's be friends? He couldn't do that.

Instead, he walked up behind the group and cleared his throat.

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Zakeef had been standing quietly off to the side of the rest of the group, arms crossed, wearing his usual scowl. Now that it was certain that Roddie was going to live, and that Anthony's injuries weren't much more than a scratch, the residual commotion was becoming too much for him, and he had been considering retreating to the ship to make what little repairs he could without the equipment that had been stolen from them by the scavengers. He was in the middle of planning his exit when he saw a tall, strapping Torak approaching from the other side of the airlock.

He felt his insides do a flip the moment he laid eyes on him.

It had been ages - almost 10 solar cycles, if he had been keeping track correctly - since Zakeef had even seen another member of his own species. That had been back when their planet was still inhabitable, before he had become the homeless drunk that a teenage pirate captain had picked up off the streets.

He gapes at the other Torak for a long moment before he realizes it, and averts his eyes.

Ayin wasn't prepared for the way all five of the beings standing there immediately fell silent and stared at at him. He shrunk back a little under the scrutiny, trying to glance at the shorter Torak without actually looking like he was glancing at him. There was a long, awkward moment and then the human wearing the Federation uniform speaks up.

"Good morning!" he says, oddly jovial, "You must be the technician Commander Wirth said she'd send up. Thank you so much for helping us out." Ayin nodded, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"It's no problem," he said in his usual deep tones, noticing belatedly that a couple of the crew members were glancing between him and their Torak. With a brief glance he realized that the Torak wasn't even looking at him, and his heart sank a little.

"Well, the ship's just through there," the human said, gesturing through the nearby airlock, "And this is the Captain, Roddie." He gestured to the other human in the group, who was seated in a hoverchair, his arms crossed over his chest and a sulky expression on his face. Ayin nodded at him, masking his surprise, because he would have guessed that the human in the uniform was the Captain.

Edited 2014-10-30 23:06 (UTC)

Zakeef swallowed hard and kept his gaze focused elsewhere as best as he could, staring at a stain on Roddie's shirt. However, despite his best efforts, he did eventually momentarily allowed his eyes to wander back to the other Torak.

He was not bad looking, Zakeef thinks embarrassedly. He was enormously tall, with a broad chest and shoulders, and Zakeef feels a pang of anger when he notes that his horns have been filed down and capped. This one had been a slave.

While he's been standing there with his eyes fixed on the stranger, Roddie has been introducing the members of his crew.

"And this is Zakeef," Roddie says, and Zakeef snaps back to attention and nods in his direction. Roddie, seeming to have noticed Zakeef's interest in the other Torak by the smirk on his face, goes on.

"Hey Zak, why don't you show him around the ship? You can help him figure out what needs fixing," he says.

"Oh. Me? Sure. Why not," he says. Under normal circumstances, he would have made a fuss about working with someone he didn't know, and he can tell that Roddie knows this by the way his grin grows wider.

"My name is Ayin. I'm chief engineer on the station," Ayin said, nodding to each of the crew as they were introduced. When he found the Torak's name was Zakeef he couldn't resist looking him up and down. His curiosity was burning inside him, all the questions he wanted to ask. He'd never spent much time researching his home planet or practicing his language, mostly out of fear but now... Ayin had to take a step back, remind himself that this was a stranger who would probably want nothing to do with him.

He glanced between the Captain and Zakeef, feeling relieved when Zakeef quickly accepted the offer to show him around. The other members gave Zakeef an odd look, but Ayin didn't dwell on it as he followed Zakeef through the airlock.

"So what-- Can you explain what the damage was?" Ayin asks, trying not to stare at the other Torak.

Zakeef starts a little when he speaks to him, and he clears his throat. As much as he disliked large groups and loud noises, he was even worse at speaking one-on-one, perhaps even moreso with people he was actually interested in.

"Both engines are shot," he replies stiffly, hating how factual and no-nonsense he was being even as the words were coming out of his mouth, "and we think our attackers siphoned off our auxiliary power before attacking us, because none of the lights or anything else inside the ship is working. In fact, we barely made it to the station because we almost ran out of air."

"I see," Ayin said, nodding, "We see this quite often, actually. There's not much in the way of Federation patrols out here so the scavengers thrive. They don't usually do too much damage to the ships themselves, because otherwise they wouldn't be able to sell them" Ayin realizes he's babbling and stops, clearing his throat, "I mean, it-- It shouldn't be too difficult to get you guys up and running again. I've done it before." Inside the ship Ayin sets down his toolbox, opening it and rifling through the contents, and using it as an excuse to peek at Zakeef again.

Zakeef listens to him talk, quietly and ashamedly enjoying the sound of his voice, fully engrossed in what he is saying until he abruptly changes the subject. He clears his throat and scratches his ear.

"Good, that would be ide-," he pauses, noticing that Ayin is giving him a once-over, and he feels his face growing hot.

"Are you staring at me?" he says, instinctively, hating himself the moment the words leave his mouth.

Ayin starts when Zakeef asks if he's staring, immediately mortified at being caught out.

"I-I'm sorry," he says, jerking his head down to stare into his toolbox, "I didn't meant to, to make you uncomfortable I just--" Ayin speaks quickly, anxiously, cursing himself to have already offended Zakeef, "I just haven't seen one of your... One of our kind before." Ayin bows his head, his fingers curling around the edges of his toolbox. That wasn't exactly true, but the memories from before he'd been rescued were far away and that was where Ayin liked them to be.

Zakeef shakes his head quickly, his voice breaking slightly when he speaks.

"No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...You didn't make me uncomfortable - it's just - I havent either. Seen one of our kind, I mean. Not in cycles. And I wondered if...if you had a similar interest. In me. As well."

He clears his throat again, louder this time, and stares wide-eyed at the ground.

Ayin turns his head, tentatively looking up at Zakeef again. He slowly stands up to face Zakeef, choosing his words carefully.

"Yes, I do. I... I haven't... It's been fifteen years. Earth years, I mean," he says, wincing slightly, wondering if Zakeef will begrudge him being unfamiliar with his home planet's time cycles, not to mention all the other things he didn't know.

Zakeef only nods, still staring at the ground.

"I believe that's about the same amount of time since I have seen anyone from our planet, yes," he says, shuffling his feet. "I...got a little excited. To see someone, finally, but I wasn't sure how to say so."

He scratches his horn against the wall of the ship, nervously.

"Ah... Me neither. I'm not... I'm not very good with people," Ayin says, chuckling awkwardly. Understatement he thinks to himself. Growing up in the academy Ayin had been something of a freak, not the only alien but one of few, and nobody that spoke his language or knew anything about his home. For a while he'd watched the news every day, when information about his planet filtered in, but eventually that stopped and Ayin's memories had faded. He'd become familiar with Earth and its languages, but he'd never figured out how to make friends, which was how he landed an assignment on a tiny station in the middle of nowhere.

Ayin watches Zakeef scratches his horns curiously, his hand coming up self-consciously to touch at his own chopped-off horns.

"You weren't..." Ayin starts to ask, but the words catch in his throat, "I mean, your horns are... Different."

Zakeef nods, still unable to look at him directly.

"I wasn't a slave," he says, pausing a moment. He hasn't spoken to anyone about his life before Roddie had picked him up in years, and he had only shared bits and pieces of it with Roddie and the rest of the crew, but he is surprised to finds himself wanting to open up further to Ayin, and even more surprised to feel like he can.

"I was a soldier," he says finally, "For a few cy...years, at least. Before that I lived on a farm. My family was slaughtered shortly before I came into adulthood, along with my mate, who was living with us. He...died giving me a chance to run from the slavers." Finally getting the courage to look in his direction, but still not into his eyes directly, he continues, "I joined the resistance for a while, poured my life into it, but once it was over, and we had run...I had no purpose. Not until the Captain found me." He averts his eyes again.

"Sorry," he says, swearing under his breath at himself.

Ayin nods when Zakeef answers the question he hadn't quite asked, wanting to ask more but not wanting to pry into Zakeef's life. When Zakeef speaks again, sharing his story on his own, Ayin watches him with wide eyes.

"No," Ayin said, immediately after Zakeef apologized, hesitating for a moment before putting his hand gently on Zakeef's shoulder, "It's okay. That sounds horrific, I'm sorry. And..." Ayin pauses, removing his hand from Zakeefs shoulder, unsure if the touch is welcome, "Thank you. For fighting. I'm free because of you."

Zakeef looks into his eyes, finally, deeply moved by his words.

He had never gotten to see any of the positive results of the war being won, as he had fled the planet as soon as the fighting was over.

"Thank you," he says, his voice wavering, "I...have never witnessed any of the good brought about by the fighting, so it...it means a lot. To year you say that."

He puts a hand on Ayin's shoulder in return, but quickly removes it.

Ayin smiles, his heart thudding in his chest when Zakeef looks at him.

"I'm glad," Ayin says warmly, smiling down at Zakeef when he reaches up to briefly touch his shoulder. After a long quiet moment he clears his throat and looks away, feeling the urge to share his own story with Zakeef.

"I was thirteen when the Federation came. In Earth years, I mean. Before that, I... Don't really remember. What I do remember is... Fear. All the time," Ayin takes a moment to breath, nervously touching his horns again, "After I was rescued I was taken back to Earth and put into the Federation's academy. I didn't have anybody."

Zakeef attempts to keep his face from contorting in anger as he speaks.

"That is," he starts, his voice even more shaken than before, "...attrocious. I wish I could have..."

He pauses, realizing what he is about to say is probably an odd thing to say to a near-stranger, but the words come to him anyway. "I wish I could have met you sooner. I wish you hadn't been alone."

Ayin smiles at Zakeef again, touched by the sentiment.

"That... That would have been nice. For both of us, I think," Ayin says, and snorts, "I mean, I probably wouldn't have been any less of a freak, but... It would have been nice to have someone who understood."

Zakeef tilts his head, curiously, frowning at his words.

"A freak?" he asks, curiously.

Ayin looks down at Zakeef, then shrugs.

"Well, the humans, they... I mean, I look weird to them. I probably do to you too," Ayin laughed again, but it was somewhat hollow. Being an ex-slave teenager from an unknown planet with no family or friends who couldn't speak the language hadn't been fun. Not to mention he'd always been larger than any of the humans he knew, bulkier and taller, and Ayin had always felt out of place and odd looking.

Zakeef swallows hard, loosening the scarf around his neck.

"You don't look strange to me at all. A-actually, by our culture's standards," he stutters, trying to sound matter-of-fact, sweat forming on his temples as he speaks, "you would be considered...exceedingly...attractive."

Ayin gapes at Zakeef for a long moment, before he realizes what he's doing and clears his throat, looking away. He feels his face get hot and a strange, not altogether unpleasant fluttering in his chest at that admission. It takes him a long time to answer.

"Ah... That's... Thank you," Ayin said, then cleared his throat again, "If that's true then you must have been a model or something." Ayin laughs, high and awkward and strangled, immediately regretting the words as soon as he'd said them. He wasn't sure why he'd said that either, and realized with dawning horror that it was an attempt at flirting.

Zakeef's face burns, and he stares at Ayin in bewilderment, dropping the screwdriver he had picked up back onto the ground.

"You're...flirting with me," he says, mouth hanging slightly open, "Are you flirting with me?"

Ayin's mouth works silently for a moment, feeling mortified and not sure how to undo it. He's sure he's offended Zakeef, overstepped boundaries with a stranger he'd met less than thirty minutes ago, and he desperately wants to take back the words.

"Uh... Yeah, I guess," Ayin says, figuring it was pointless to deny it, "I'm sorry, I'll just... I'll go work on the ship." He leaned down to his toolbox again, face burning as he closed it up again, more embarrassed that he'd very nearly forgotten why he'd entered the ship in the first place.

"No, no, please," Zakeef says, bending over to pick up the dropped tool, stumbling and nearly falling over as he does. He extends his arm to hand it back to him, and he fumbles for words before speaking.

"I...am also hitting on you," he says finally, staring at Ayin's hand as he passes the screwdriver off to him.

Ayin stares at him again, slowly reaching out for Zakeefs hand and wrapping around it, not pulling back when the screwdriver is in his hand.

"Oh," Ayin says, now unable to look away from Zakeef's eyes, "Then... I'm glad we're on the same page." He glances down at their joined hands and then looks back up, licking his lips.

"Zakeef, I... I know we--we just met but I... I'd really like to kiss you," Ayin said with a half-laugh, his voice shaking a little.

Zakeef forgets to breathe for a moment.

"Oh," he says, speaking in a higher tone than he usually did. "Well. I-I don't usually. Or ever. I mean I don't want you to think. But. You. I."

He closes his eyes tight, and moves himself closer to him, closing the space between them.

"Go for it," he says, "Please."

"Me neither," Ayin whispers, while Zakeef moves closer, then nods slowly at Zakeef's next words. The screwdriver clatters to the floor as Ayin reaches up, two fingers pressing against Zakeef's jaw and angling him in the right direction to kiss. He kissed Zakeef gently, mouth closed, his hand sliding around to his neck to pull him closer.

Edited 2014-10-31 11:32 (UTC)

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