who_is_she | (no subject)

(no subject)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ikchpUcunVHA9BpkFZL7_5jKdogu67YALXFZ1W1RPAM/edit?usp=sharing

Tony feels like he floats towards consciousness for a long time, vaguely hearing voices and seeing bright lights but he can't concentrate on them enough to understand them. When he finally does open his eyes, it's to a big bouquet of flowers, and Tony can't figure out why they're there. He closes his eyes again as he tries to remember, but his mind feels fuzzy and full of cotton balls, and finally after a while he remembers the stone. He'll remember that for a while, he thinks, the stone all around, closing in, and he opens his eyes again to focus on the flowers.

He remembers Roddie's voice on the radio, how he was crying, and Tony couldn't figure out why. Now, he thinks he knows.

He sighs and tries to raise his hand to his forehead, but he can't move it. He looks down at himself and realizes his arm and leg are both suspended in braces, and he can't move them at all.

"Oh, God," he grumbles to himself, letting his head fall back onto the bed as he closed his eyes.

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Roddie was asleep, sitting in a chair he'd pulled up next to Tony's hospital bed, slumped over so his head was resting on the mattress. It had taken them about a day's time to transport him to a real hospital, with Ajax keeping him alive with his medical knowledge and the meager resources they had in their tiny med bay, amd Roddie had been awake for all of it, despite crying himself to the brink of exhaustion, guzzling soda and even some of Tony's coffee to keep himself on his feet. He had only just drifted off into a light sleep a few hours ago, and was snoring quietly when he felt movement on the bed next to him, and heard Tony's voice. He sits bolt upright, shaking his head and blinking until the disorientation fades.

"Tony? Tony, hey, are you awake?" he says, trying to keep his trembling voice quiet and gentle for Tony's sake. He cups Tony's unbroken hand in his own, shaking ones and kisses it, running the palm of his hand up and down his forearm as tears start to well up in his sore, bloodshot eyes again.

Tony stirs at the sound of Roddie's voice, and he tilts his head towards it and cracks his eyes open. Roddie's eyes are bloodshot with deep bags under them, and Tony can see the knuckles on one hand are scabbed over, and Tony's eyebrows knit together with concern.

"Roddie?" he says faintly, moving his hand a little in Roddie's grip, curling his fingers around his hand, "Are you all right? You look terrible."

"God, shut up," Roddie chokes, still clasping Tony's hand to his mouth as the tears start spilling out again, "You're in a full body cast, you shit, don't --"

He's cut off by a sob, and he grasps more desperately at his arm. It hadn't really registered for him that Tony was really, truly alive until now, that he was going to make it, but here he was, talking to him and holding his hand and even fussing over him from the hospital bed.

"Tony, h-how do you feel, baby?" he asks, stroking his thumb over the back of Tony's hand, "P-painkillers have you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Water? I-I got you some water, Vira went to pick up food, I-I can tell her to bring something back for you since you're awake, y-you're probably pretty hungry, right?"

Tony's startled by the tears on Roddie's face and his devastated expression; it's not like he's never seen Roddie cry--it's just that he's never seen Roddie cry over him.

"I'm okay," Tony says, a little baffled as his mind starts to clear, and pulls his hand out of Roddie's hands to stroke his face, "Hey, I'm okay, it's okay." Tony makes a jerky movement towards Roddie, but he's immobilized by the brace on his arm, and he puts his hand on the back of Roddie's neck to pull him forward instead, "Come here."

Roddie moves toward him, careful not to hurt him as he rests his head on Tony's chest and sobs into his hospital gown, clutching at the fabric with his fingers.

"Tony, I'm so sorry," he blurts out, wracked with sobs as he buries his face in his shoulder, "I-I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, Tony." He's deliriously exhausted, and he can't entirely convince himself that this isn't a dream he's having, and that he's going to wake up and Tony will still be dead.

Tony gets choked up just hearing Roddie like this, and he strokes his hand through Roddie's hair and kisses the top of his head.

"It's okay, Roddie, it's not your fault. You don't... have anything to apologize for, okay? I'm okay, and I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're not gonna get rid of me that easily." Tony kisses Roddie's head again, his hand going to the back of his neck and rubbing there gently, to soothe him.

It takes Roddie several long minutes to calm himself sufficiently, and when he does he looks up at Tony with bleary eyes.

"G-god, I should be the one comforting you, you're the one who's -- who almost -- a-and if it were't for me you wouldn't have --"

He can't finish the sentence, so instead he rests his forehead against Tony's, biting his lip and sniffling as he fights back more tears.

"H-how do you feel, for real? It doesn't hurt too bad, does it? I-I can call them in for you if you need anything, seriously, just tell me, I-I --"

He tries to steady himself again, finds himself staring dumbly into Tony's eyes.

"G-God, you're so beautiful, I thought I was never going to see you again," he says, squeezing his eyes shut as a few more tears trickle out of his eyes and fall onto Tony's cheeks.

Tony laughs a little, blinking his own tears away, and then gently pulls Roddie forward until he can kiss his lips.

"You're not so bad yourself," he whispers against Roddie's mouth, and then pulls back to look at him, "Seriously, I'm okay. A little sore but nothing to mind," he kisses Roddie again, ignoring the way it pulls at a scab on his lip, "And don't--don't blame yourself, okay? There's no way it was your fault, hell, you worked yourself to the bone saving me. It's not your fault." He strokes his hand down over Roddie's shoulder and then back up, wishing he could hold Roddie with both of his hands.

Roddie returns his kisses, struggling hard to keep them slow and gentle, wishing he could kiss him desperately, the way he really wanted to.

"A-Alright, alright, I'll...do my best," Roddie agrees, nodding weakly and pecking his lips again. He lets himself lean against him, leaning against the bed on one elbow and letting the other one stroke up and down his chest, finally resting gently on Tony's face.

"I love you," he says hoarsely, his voice finally starting to steady, "I...need to tell you that more."

Tony smiles indulgently, curling his fingers around Roddie's hand.

"You've told me that like every day for the last year. I don't know if I can take more," he leans in to kiss Roddie again, but he pulls back before the kiss an get deep and Tony makes a frustrated noise, "Just-- I was stuck under a rock for eighteen hours, just kiss me!" Tony says and then yanks Roddie close, kissing him hard and holding him there.

Roddie's eyes open in surprise, but he closes them again quickly, finally giving over to his want and kissing him deeply. He brings both hands up to hold his face, and hums desperately as he pushes his tongue into Tony's mouth. He kisses him for a long while, until he's almost breathless and then some, and when he pulls back again he's panting for air. He strokes his hands gingerly over Tony's face and through his hair, careful not to touch any of the cuts or sores on his face, and his vision starts to swim again.

"I-I didn't want to -- hurt your lip," he rasps, laughing a little at himself as a few more tears trickle out of his eyes, "Y-you've got a little cut, there, I thought it might --"

He rubs at his eyes, half smiling, half looking as though he's going to break down and start sobbing again.

"God, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best here, man."

Tony moans into the kiss, and sighs happily when Roddie pulls back, feeling more relaxed. He pushes his fingers through Roddie's hair, frowning as he realizes again that Roddie looks a total mess.

"You look exhausted," Tony says, stroking his thumb over the damp circle under Roddie's eye, "Have you slept at all?" Tony doesn't wait for an answer, scooting over as far as he can and then pulling the blanket back and motioning for Roddie to lay down, "Here, come lay down. I won't take no for an answer," he says sternly, still smiling a little.

Roddie opens his mouth to protest, fearing he might hurt him if he got into bed with him, but finds no will to argue. He really, really does want to lie down with him, so instead he gives a small nod and climbs in next to him as carefully as he can. Lying his head down on the pillow next to Tony and resting his arm across Tony's stomach, he lets his eyes fall half closed as he takes several deep, steadying breaths.

"I...I slept a few hours. Well...hyperventilated and then blacked out is more like it," he says, so tired his lips barely move when he speaks, "I...slept a couple hours after that, and...just now, sitting in the chair I did. I'm really...I'm not sure this isn't all a dream. Except in my dreams you'd...be uninjured, not in a cast right now, so..."

He slides his hand idly into Tony's hospital gown, feeling the familiar skin there, another reassurance that he was here with him.

"You sure you don't need anything?" he asks. As tired as he was, he would have gotten up to get Tony anything he asked for right now.

"Oh, sweetie," Tony says, putting his hand over Roddie's and holding it, then arranges the blanket around him as well as he can with one arm, "What I really need is for you to get some rest. It'll make me feel so much better." He rubs his hand up and down Roddie's arm, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He's not really tired, and maybe he was starting to feel a little achy, not that he would have told Roddie as much. At least, not when it was obvious Roddie had been through hell the last two days and badly needed some relief. Honestly, he'd bet Roddie had been through more than he had, because aside from the pain and ending up in a full body cast he hadn't gone through much turmoil, though he had to admit that the horrible pain was extremely distracting.

Still, he'd thought Roddie was dead for several seconds before, and he'd take the full body cast over that any day.

"I love you, Roddie," he whispers softly, so as not to disturb Roddie if he's already asleep.

"I love you too," Roddie says softly, having closed his eyes but not quite fallen asleep yet. He lets out a deep sigh as he finally allows himself to relax.

"I'll...get some rest, I'll get some," he mumbles, starting to get incoherent as he drifts off. He presses an aimless kiss on Tony's neck and hugs him closer.

"I'm so glad you're here and -- you're you, and you're okay," he breathes, and he finds himself falling asleep even as he says the words.

Tony chuckles a little at Roddie's rambling, settling his arm around Roddie's shoulders to rub his back while he sleeps. He relaxes back into the bed, focusing on the soft snoring noises Roddie makes while he's sleeping.

Tony opens his eyes a few minutes later when he hears a shuffling sound nearby, just in time to see Elyta duck his head into the room. Tony blinks in surprise and waves him in, then puts a finger to his lips and points at Roddie. Elyta looks massively confused for a moment, but steps quietly into the room.

"What?" he says when he's close enough to whisper, and Tony chuckles.

"Sorry-- human thing. That means be quiet," Tony says, shaking his head at himself, and Elyta smiles, "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" Elyta says, giving him an incredulous look, "You almost died! Ajax told me what was going on. I've never seen him so upset." Tony blinks a little at that, because he can't he'd ever seen Ajax act anything close to upset.

"Oh. I didn't realize it was... that big of a deal," Tony says distantly, processing the fact that his friends had been upset.

"It was," Elyta says, and looks down at Roddie and smiles softly, "I'm glad he fell asleep finally. We were talking about knocking him out if he didn't relax soon." Tony laughs and shakes his head, though he doesn't think he would have blamed them.

"I'd better go and tell the others you're awake. I'll be right back," Elyta says and then dashes out the door with a flutter of his wings.

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