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Conner was doing his best to convince himself not to panic. It wasn't a big deal, really, he kept trying to tell himself but things had been tense lately and he couldn't quite shake the unsettled feeling. Gavin had been on edge lately, only admitting to paranoia after Conner asked him about it. Gavin had played down his fear but Conner could tell he was spooked, and had done his best to look after him and reassure him.

Truthfully, Conner hadn't even wanted to go to work that morning, not with the way Gavin had clung to him all night. But he hadn't wanted to miss the hours that day, either, so he kissed Gavin for a long time and then rushed to work, almost showing up late.

Then Gavin hadn't answered any of his texts. He always texted Gavin during lulls at work, little observations or stories, and Gavin almost always responded right away. It was possible that Gavin had just fallen back asleep, or gotten wrapped up in work or a video game, but with the way things had been lately it made panic start to take root in Conner's gut, so he decided to head back home for his lunch break, just to check up.

He'd just been reassuring himself with thoughts of walking in on an overly focused Gavin, and distracting him thoroughly and making him lunch when he rounded the stairs on their floor, and froze when he saw the door to his apartment. It was standing ajar, the lock broken, and Conner's heart is immediately in his throat.

He pulls out his phone with a shaking hand, dialling 911 as he slowly pushes the door open and grabs the baseball bat near the front door.

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Conner feels all the anxiety and stress he's been holding down for the last few weeks bubbling up, everything he's been pushing away and swallowing back to focus on Gavin instead. Conner just shakes his head at first, battling with the intense fear as his eyes start to water.

"Gavin," he says, his voice cracking, "Your heart stopped. I saw you laying there, dead, and I can't... I can't deal with it, okay? I can't see that again, and I'm so afraid that it will, and I just... I need you to be safe. I... Need you to be safe." Conner wipes at his eyes that won't stop leaking, his shoulders trembling as emotion bursts through his walls and overwhelms him.

"Hey, hey," Gavin says quickly, his heart breaking a little as he pulls Conner into a tight hug, "All right, Conner, it's okay, I'm sorry, I'll...take it easy, I'll do what the doctor said, okay?"

He pulls back, pressing a long kiss against Conner's forehead before pulling him to lie down beside him and hugging him close to his chest.

"...I would like to be able to kiss you for more than a few seconds at a time without you pulling away, though," he says, after holding him quietly for several minutes.

Conner hugs Gavin back, burying his face in his shoulder but still taking care not to squeeze him too tightly or brush against his stomach, even as he cried into his shoulder.

When Gavin pulls back Conner wipes at his face and nose, giving him a watery, apologetic smile.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't want to... Get too worked up, myself," he says, his voice hitching a little, and leans in to kiss Gavin for a long moment, keeping it gentle and not too heated, before pulling back to sigh, "I've been... A little overprotective, huh? I'm sorry. I... love you, Gavin." He strokes Gavin's face and then leans in to kiss him again, this time without pulling away.

Gavin kisses him, slowly but deliberately and for as long as he's been wanting to for weeks, before pulling apart and wiping his wet cheeks with his thumb.

"It's okay," he says, his voice soft and low, "You're just worried, I...really, I think it's sweet, I just...I don't want you worrying like this. I'll be all right."

Conner nods, rubbing his hands up and down Gavin's back, comforted by his warmth and the beat of his heart.

"I think I... still need some time. Before I'm... totally okay again. But you can tell me if I'm going overboard, okay? I don't want to smother you or anything." Conner sighs, closing his eyes and completely relaxing into Gavin's arms for probably the first time since the accident.

----

Gavin's checkup with his doctor at the hospital lasts longer than expected, and by the time he gets out it's past time for Conner to be home from work. He texts him from the hospital parking garage, letting him know everything's all right and he's on his way back now, before getting in the car and driving himself back home.

The news had been good; after several hours of x-rays and questions and examination, the doctors had opted to remove the stitches on his stomach. They assured him that everything he described himself feeling was normal, including the feeling that his guts were going to fall out of him, and urged him to continue to take it easy. They had also encouraged him not to have penetrative or physically demanding sex, and had provided him with a pamphlet on oral sex, which had badly embarrassed him, and he had thrown it in the trash as soon as he'd been able.

He pulls up to their building, climbs the stairs to their apartment and fumbling with his keys at the door before pushing it open.

"Hey," he calls out, announcing his presence as he locks the door again behind them.

When Conner comes home to an empty house he does his best to keep his panicking to a minimum, because he knows Gavin's at his check-up, though it doesn't usually go on this long. He busies himself with making dinner, and before he can start to worry Gavin's texting him t say he's on his way home.

Over the last couple of weeks Conner had slowly begun to relax, releasing some of his anxiety that revolved around Gavin's health and he was beginning to get back to his usual self. That was helped along by how well Gavin was healing, as his color had started to come back and he'd started being able to move around on his own without passing out on the floor from pain.

"Hey, baby!" Conner calls back from the kitchen when he hears Gavin come in, grinning, "I'm in here! I made dinner! It's mac and cheese, sorry, I should probably learn to make something else."

Gavin sets his wallet and keys on the table by the front door and heads into the kitchen, coming up behind where Conner is standing at the stove to kiss him on the back of his neck before sitting down at the table.

"It went really well," he says, sitting himself down at the table after grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet, "They took the stitches out. They told me I'm making a really good recovery, and that everything's normal."

"Wow, that's great!" Conner says, grinning wide and coming over to the table to grab Gavin's bowl and give him a one-armed hug, returning to the stove to fill Gavin's bowl and put it in front of him, "You'll be back to 100% in no time, huh?" Conner fills up a bowl for himself and sits next to Gavin, lightly brushing their legs together under the table.

"How do you feel?" he asks, digging into his food.

"Pretty good," Gavin says, his mouth half full, "I still get the feeling that my stomach's gonna fall out onto the floor sometimes, but they said that's normal.

He pokes at his food some more, wondering how to fluidly breach the topic of sex.

"They, uh, said I'm pretty much ready to get back to most of the stuff I did before," he says, glancing over at Conner and then back at his food.

Conner makes an apologetic face at Gavin's complaints, nodding along to the news.

"That's cool. So, like, exercise and stuff? And spending hours sitting at the computer playing videogames?" Conner says, laughing, and when he looks up he catches the slightly shifty look in Gavin's eye and he pauses. He thinks for a moment, repeating what Gavin had just said in his mind and considering it.

"Or... Oh," he says, his eyes widening little as comprehension dawns, "Did they say you could, you know," Conner gestures vaguely with his spoon, "Do certain... Intimate... Activities?" He says, and he can't keep himself from giggling a little.

Edited 2015-04-11 19:09 (UTC)

Gavin laughs, kicking Conner lightly under the table.

"I...yeah," he says, keeping his eyes on his plate as he giggles quietly, "Well...not everything. They said I shouldn't, like...put stuff up in me, but...God, they gave me a pamphlet for like...women who had just given birth. On...oral. It was awful, I threw it away."

"A pamphlet?" Conner repeats, laughing, his eyebrows raised, "A pamphlet on oral sex? Oh my god, why did you throw it away? That sounds amazing. What did it say? Like, was it instructional? Were there pictures? Do straight people really need pamphlets to tell them how to have oral sex? That's so sad," Conner pauses, still laughing and considering that. Then he realizes that Gavin's doctor had given him the okay on oral, and they could have sex for the first time in five weeks, and his laughter dies down.

"I don't know," Gavin says, laughing quietly and flushing a little, "I think it was instructional. I couldn't look. The first page was addressed to men telling them it wasn't gross or degrading to go down on a girl and talking about what a beautiful natural act it was. I got depressed thinking about it."

His laughter fades into tense silence, and he's no longer eating, pushing the remaining macaroni around his plate and staring at it fixedly.

"So, uhh...yeah," he says finally, still keeping his eyes fixed on his plate, "That's...the news."

Conner chuckles a little, but it's less heartfelt than it had been a moment ago. He looks over at Gavin, taking in his slightly flushed cheeks and embarrassed expression. He knows exactly where Gavin's thoughts are because his are right there too, and he licks his lips and glances down at his bowl. Suddenly, he's not so hungry. At least, not for food.

"That's some news," he says faintly, looking back up at Gavin and raising his eyebrows, "So... You wanna go... Smoke a bowl?" he says, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Gavin says immediately and gratefully, and he stands up too quickly from his spot and nearly knocks his chair over, "Yeah, I'll get it."

He heads into the bedroom, pulling the bag and a pipe from the drawer in the bedside table and packing it and lighting it quickly. A long drag from the pipe takes the edge off his nerves and the almost frantic feeling in his gut, and he breathes it out in a long, slow breath before sitting down on the bed. He passes the pipe to Conner, before crossing his arms and pullinh his shirt off over his head, still eager and desperate to get going even if he was a little more relaxed.

Conner laughs as Gavin practically sprints to their room, but follows him at a similar pace, watching with an amused expression. He takes the pipe when Gavin hands it to him, taking a long, grateful drag and enjoying the heady rush that's more intense than usual because he hasn't smoked in weeks. When he looks up again Gavin's shirtless, and he chokes a little as he exhales his mouthful of smoke.

His eyes rove appreciatively over Gavin's bare skin, but when they fall on the still red and angry looking scar on Gavin's abdomen he pauses, his face falling a little.

"Hold on--just," Conner says, biting his lip and looking up at Gavin's face, "Promise me you'll tell me to stop if you feel any pain at all, okay?"

Gavin nods eagerly, leaning in to take the pipe from Conner and get another hit.

"Yeah," he says, blowing the smoke into Conner's face before kissing him soundly on the mouth, "Yeah, I promise, I will. I'll lie down, even, it's fine, see?"

He lies back on the bed, grabbing Conner by his arms and pulling him down on top of him, without letting any of Conner's weight rest on his abdomen, and kisses him again, deeper and faster and harder than he's allowed himself to in a month, running his fingers back through his hair as he does.

"Okay," Conner says nodding, his anxiety easily appeased in the face of his overwhelming desire, and he follows Gavin down onto the bed. He pulls back for one more hit off the pipe and then sets it on the bedside table, so they don't burn themselves with it. He turns back to eagerly return Gavin's kisses, cupping his face with one hand and resting his weight on the other, careful not to rest on Gavin.

"God," he hisses against Gavin's mouth, already panting and dizzy from just a few kisses, "I can't--" wait any longer, he doesn't say, letting his actions speak for him instead as he sloppily kisses his way down Gavin's neck and chest, his hands going to Gavin's pants and fumbling to get them open.

Gavin's breath hisses on the inhale, and he eagerly helps him unfasten his pants and underwear and slide them halfway down his legs. He spreads his lehs apart, letting Conner settle between them, and his fingers on one hand knot themselves in Conner's hair.

"God, yeah, me neither," he breathes, looking down and watching Conner kiss down the length of his body, the slightly defined muscles in his chest and stomach flexing a little involuntarily.

Conner skips over kissing Gavin's stomach altogether, and only partially out of concern for injuring his tender abdomen, and partially out of impatience. He moves his mouth to the crease between Gavin's thigh and hip, licking and sucking as he works Gavin's pants and underwear further down his thighs and legs, managing to get one of his legs out of his pant leg and not bothering with the other. Now he can spread Gavin's legs open enough to settle comfortably between them, and he pulls his mouth away from Gavin's skin to get a good look at his pussy licking his lips as he does.

"Hey, you," he says, gently and lovingly rubbing his fingers over Gavin's clit and hole, "I missed you."

"Oh my god, stop," Gavin snorts, bringing his heel down lightly against Conner's back even as he twitches into his touch.

"I'm gonna get up and leave," he laughs, "For real, I'll -- God, no, I can't even joke like that." He licks his lips and the laughter fades, and he leans back, resting his head on the pillow. He combs his fingers through Conner's hair, and runs his other hand up over his own chest, rolling his nipple between his fingers as he looks down at him.

Conner chuckles darkly, shifting a little away from Gavin's leg but otherwise undeterred from his task.

"I think it missed me too," he mutters with a smirk, immediately following the words with a long stroke of his tongue over Gavin's pussy to hopefully distract Gavin from kicking him again. He groans at the taste and repeats the movement, closing his eyes as he focuses. He can't resist taking his time, even with the desperate urgency to feel Gavin's orgasm on his tongue, he has no desire to rush this.

"You're so fucking weird," Gavin moans, undermined by the fact that he moans softly on the last word. He bites down on his lip and turns his face into the pillow, his hips bucking up slightly off the bed and pushing up into Conner's mouth. His clit rubs against Conner's tongue.

"Come on," Gavin half-whines, his inhibitions lowered by the weed and his desperation, "Please, Conner, come on."

Conner moans in reply, rubbing his tongue against Gavin's clit as he strokes his free hand over Gavin's hip, encouraging him to lie still. He presses his tongue more firmly against Gavin, then slides down to stroke his tongue in and out of him.

Usually Conner had no trouble ignoring his own pleasure and focusing on Gavin when giving oral, but this time Conner found his erection was aching already from the desperation and Gavin's taste and sounds. He reaches down with one hand, cupping his cock over his pants and rubbing his palm over his length, moaning into Gavin's skin as he does.

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who_is_she - 2015-04-12 20:04 (UTC) - Expand

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