who_is_she | but i want them to win

but i want them to win

Sometimes, it still bothered Conner. He'd wake up from the middle of the night from a dream of his cousin's face, and he'd spend a sleepless night combing over old news reports for a Roderigo Juarez, hoping for the best but always searching the obituaries anyways. Roddie and his parents had saved Conner when he'd most needed help, they'd helped him figure out his powers, and they'd supported him in a way his mom never had. He still felt like he'd never had a chance to repay them, not even by finding Roddie after his mothers had been killed. Conner had been the only one to track down the police and find out why his kid cousin had disappeared from the hospital, but the police hadn't done much of anything aside from the missing persons report and Conner had never known what had happened or where he'd gone. He'd never been called after the accident, and he hadn't even known what had happened until he'd waited at home for hours and then finally called the hospital in a panicked effort to find them.

He'd been alone afterwards, and it had taken years for him to even get close to anyone like he had Roddie and his parents, and even then he hadn't really gotten close to anyone until he'd met Gavin.

But his occasional searching over the years had never borne fruit, so of course the one time he wasn't searching and had just accidentally left the news on while he ate dinner with Gavin was the one time Roddie's name came up.

"The captain of the ship, Roderigo Juarez, led the crew to unveiling this shocking and years-long conspiracy," a newscaster was saying, and Conner jerked away from kissing Gavin to gape at the television, and then the news cut to a clip of Roddie, older now with his jaw covered in metal, speaking into an array of microphones.

"Sometimes you just gotta, you know, go with your gut and fight for... what you think is right." he says, shrugging a little. He's obviously uncomfortable but still proud, and Conner's vision swims with tears he doesn't even notice.

"Oh my god," he says, his voice choked and shaking, "Oh my God, Roddie, oh my God."

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Gavin hadn't been paying attention to the TV, focusing instead on shovelling food into his mouth, and he'd been on the verge of asking Conner about his day at work when he hears Conner's voice break. He closes his mouth and raises his eyebrows, turning around to look at the TV. He recognizes the young man on the TV from pictures Conner had shown him of his family, and when he places his face he chokes on his mashed potatoes.

"Oh my God, is that --" he starts, once his throat is clear of food, "Is that -- your cousin, the one you lived with? No, that's not him, is it? That's a pretty common first and last name, isn't it? I mean, a lot of people--"

He moves around the table close to Conner, tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I mean, are you --" he starts, but trails off, not knowing what to say in the slightest.

"It's him," Conner says immediately, shaking his head and still staring at the TV, "It's definitely him. I thought-- missing persons are almost dead but I didn't-- God, I never knew, I always hoped, but..." Conner trails off, his breathing labored as he stares almost absently at the news. He's overwhelmed by the news, and doesn't quite know what to do about it.

"He's-- God, what happened? Look, his-- his whole arm is metal. I never-- He was just gone from the hospital, I never found out how bad his injuries were, I... Jesus Christ." Conner doesn't realize he's crying until he puts his face in his hands and feels the wetness on his cheeks, and once he realizes he feels the flood gates open and his shoulders start shaking.

Gavin's heart aches, and he pulls Conner close to his chest in a hug. He'd only seen Conner cry like this a few times before, all during the time when Gavin had been hospitalized, and it broke his heart every time.

"Hey, hey, come here, baby," he says gently, kissing the top of his head and focusing on sending calming feelings to Conner through his touch.

"It's okay," he says, kissing his head several more times, "He's alive, we're gonna -- we can write him a letter or something, okay? I'll help you, I can do some digging, I'll try to get his contact information, would you like that?"

Conner collapses into Gavin's arms, sobbing openly, even with the calm feelings Gavin was sending him.

"Yeah, yeah," he says into Gavin's shoulder, nodding and sniffling, "That's-- I didn't even think about that. He won't be easy to contact just because he's on the news, huh?" He leans back a little, wiping ineffectually at his still leaking eyes and nose. He tries a smile but it's watery and full of heartache, and he just ends up hugging Gavin close again.

It takes him a long time to relax enough to allow Gavin to retrieve a laptop, and the search for any kind of contact information is long and slow. It takes months, as Roddie's ship is small and from what Gavin is able to find, stays away from a majority of Alliance space. When Gavin finally finds something it's an e-mail address for an agent stationed on his ship, and Gavin helps him draft a message that Conner hopes doesn't go immediately to the garbage.

~

Dear Mr. Miller,

It has taken me a long time to track down your contact information, so please do not disregard this message. The message is actually for the captain of your ship, Roderigo Juarez, who is my cousin. Eleven years ago I was living with Roddie and his parents, until they were killed in the car accident. I was never able to find out what happened to Roddie, until I saw him on the news after he saved the world. I would be thrilled if you could pass this message along to him, with my contact details below.

Thank you,
Conner Brown

~

Tony hesitates over a message titled "Don't delete me," considering ignoring it before the preview of the message catches his attention and his curiosity is piqued. His eyebrows raise as he reads the message, and then he frowns. Roddie has mentioned his extended family several times, but from Tony's understanding he had a myriad of cousins and the name at the bottom doesn't sound familiar to him. They don't even share a last name, and Tony is suspicious of the writer, though he supposes if it was a trap they would have asked for personal information instead of giving out their own freely. There's even an address from Georgia, and Tony can't decide if that's more suspicious or more credible. In any case he supposes he should have Roddie read it first.

"Hey, Roddie?" he calls into his communicator, "I have something I want to show you."

"Ooh, what is it?" Roddie says, speaking into the microphone in an overly salacious voice, "Is it your butt? It better be your butt, or I'm not coming."

Despite his words, he hops out of his captains chair, and makes his way down the hall to Tony's quarters.

"For real though, is it? Because I could seriously go for a--"

The door slides open at that moment, and Roddie's grin slackens into an expression of slight disappointment.

"You...have all your clothes on," he says sadly, "And you've got some kind of document open, with words on it."

Tony rolls his eyes at Roddie's reply, smiling in spite of himself and not responding, waiting instead for Roddie to come to his room. He turns to the door when Roddie appears, raising an eyebrow at him and giving him a look.

"No, it's not my butt," he says, laughing a little and turning back to the monitor in front of him, "But I think you'll find it interesting anyways. It's a message from someone, claiming to be your cousin? Conner something? I'm not sure I believe it myself, but I thought you should take a look anyways." He shrugs and then gestures to the screen, moving away so Roddie can get a good look.

Roddie feels his veins run cold at the name, and he walks briskly over to the monitor. His heart hammers as he reads over the message, then reads over it a second time, muttering out loud as he does. He raises a hand to his mouth and his eyes grow wide, and he can feel tears starting to build in his eyes.

"No, no, fuck, that can't be him," Roddie chokes, "It can't be. They told me he was dead, they told me my whole family -- he wouldn't write it like this anyway."

His voice breaks, and he starts sniffling despite his best efforts, looking over at Tony helplessly.

"Who would do this?" he asks, balling his hands into fists, "What do you think this is?"

Tony is shocked by Roddie's immediate and emotional response, he hadn't expected anything like this--a laugh at a ridiculous scam attempt or a smile at a family member reaching out to him, but not this. Tony reaches out to Roddie, wrapping his arms around him in an effort to comfort his distress.

"I-- I don't know, Roddie. He didn't... ask for anything from you, except for you to contact him, and the address here is from Georgia, where you used to live, right? I mean, if it is fake, there's no... He's not asking for anything," Tony pauses, shrugging, not quite able to believe that he's the one arguing against paranoia here, "You've... mentioned your family before, but never this cousin. Who... is he?"

Roddie can't summon the energy to hug Tony back, instead sinking despairingly into his arms.

"I...I didn't mention him, because I...don't have anything funny or happy to say about him. Plus, I don't know, way back when I was first telling you about my family before we were together I didn't know what you'd think of him, he was...the kind of person I thought you wouldn't approve of, I guess, he was --"

Roddie leans his elbows on his knees, knotting his fingers tightly in his hair and pulling at the roots.

"He came to live with us when I was a kid, like ten or eleven or something. He was a little older than me, his parents had kicked him out for -- I don't know, a lot of stuff that wasn't fair. He was having big issues, like, emotionally and stuff, and he was doing bad in school and doing drugs and stuff. My moms took him in, he was like my big brother. We figured out he probably had some kind of...benign psychic powers, like, mind reading, but instead he was reading other people's emotions and making them his own, and that's what was making him so upset and stuff, cause he was taking on all the feelings of all the kids around him at school. My mom homeschooled him for a few years, and we kept quiet about him being an unregistered mutant, and he was finally seeming like he felt happier and better right when --"

He pulls harder on his hair, and a few more tears drip down his nose.

"We had our accident. He wasn't in the car, and...when I was in the hospital, before they...sold me, I-I was barely conscious and they'd told me he was coming. So...when they took me to do...this," he gestures to his arm and leg, "I told them Conner was coming, and that he'd be looking for me. And one day, when I said it for what had to have been the hundredth time by then, they told me they'd found him and killed him."

Roddie stares wide eyed at his knees, and sniffles as several more tears roll down his cheeks.

"It...I always blamed myself, he died right when his life was looking up and -- and whoever sent me this is sick, or it's that lab trying to -- to set me up, to catch me and bring me back in, or...or they lied to me, and it's really--"

He shakes his head vigorously, and his shoulders start to shake with quiet sobs.

Tony listens with his eyes wide, one arm tucked around Roddie's shoulders and the other coming up to cover his mouth in shock and horror. Roddie had never really talked about how he'd gotten his advanced prosthesis, but his lack of talking about it and Tony's own research into current commercial prosthesis (and how nothing available today was as advanced as what Roddie had) had led Tony to believe it was horrible. It was heartbreaking to learn he was right.

He rubs Roddie's shoulder, unsure what he could possibly say that would be comforting and not sound stupid or patronizing.

"Well, they sent it to me, looking for you. I doubt they would have directly contacted a government agent if they just wanted to... Trick you into something." Tony says quietly, opting for the logic of the situation rather than attempt awkward consolation, "Actually, I can..." Tony trails off, turning back to the computer and typing rapidly.

"This is technically an abuse of power but... What the hell, I'm quitting anyways," he says, shrugging, and starts pulling up access to local records. It only takes a minute or two for him to find what he's looking for, and when he does he smiles in victory.

"There. License renewal for one Conner J. Brown, from last year. The address is the same as the one in the email, too," he says, turning back to Roddie, and his smile falls a little, and he reaches over to rub Roddie's shoulder again, "He's alive."

Roddie blinks back more tears as he looks over his shoulder at the license on the screen. It looks like Conner, an older Conner than he remembers, and he shakes his head vigorously as he covers his face in his hands and sobs louder.

"It can't -- you don't know that it's him, it could still be -- they could have set this up." His voice is weak, and he speaks with very little conviction as he breaks into loud, open sobs.

"I got him killed, Tony," he chokes miserably, wiping furiously at his cheeks, "If he's alive, then...I didn't, I-I don't...I don't know what to do with that, I--"

He presses his hands over his eyes and cries so hard he can't speak. When he does manage to get a few words out, his voice is weak and hoarse.

"I have to...write back, I have to go and see him, I can't...this can't be real for me until I see him in person."

"Oh, Roddie," Tony says, reaching out to wrap his arms around Roddie and hold him close, "Of course. I'll help you write it, all right? You didn't kill anyone, it's not your fault." He rubs his hands over Roddie's back and pulls back just far enough to plant kisses over Roddie's forehead and cheeks.

"It's all right, darling, you'll see him soon, it'll be all right," he says, using a gentle, soothing tone he hopes is calming.

Roddie clings to him tightly for a long while, crying into his chest, until his loud sobs become quiet sniffles, and he's hiccupping quietly. He sits up, rubbing his red eyes with the back of his hand and speaking in a hoarse, broken voice.

"Okay," he says around a hiccup, "O-okay, I have to write him now, start it like, uh...Dear Conner. No, I...it should be more formal I guess, like, Dear Mr. Jones --"

They talk it over for about an hour, and their first draft is several pages long before they trim it down. Roddie is too emotional to formulate his thoughts well, and most of the writing and trimming of the writing as well as the duty of actually setting up a meeting with Conner falls on Tony. Roddie is briefly concerned that what Tony has written sounds too smart to be his own words, and that Conner would be somehow confused, but eventually resigns himself to accepting that what Tony came up with was as good as the message was going to get, and, with a shaky hand, hits send.

When Conner gets the message he cries again, but this time he can write the reply himself, and it's riddled with typos and capitals. Him and Roddie trade a few wary messages before they can meet, neither of them seeming to want to get into anything too emotional before they can see each other in person, but they both admit they had help writing the first messages. They trade jokes and snippets of information, Conner mentions Gavin and Roddie tells him he's dating the soon-to-be-ex agent who was stationed on the ship, and Conner can't help but feel a little bit weird about that, because the last time he saw Roddie he was a kid who barely knew what kissing was.

But Roddie was 25 now, and Conner was almost 30, and the both of them were adults in serious romantic relationships, and that was the weirdest thing about it. It did spark a few realizations about himself, about how far he'd come from the broken and lost teenager he'd been, and he sincerely hoped that whatever Roddie had been through when he was alone that he was all right now.

Conner's shaking faintly as he waits in the lobby of the spaceport, watching the arrivals board and clapping his hand over his mouth when The Tacoma popped up on the screen.

"Oh God, Gavin, he's coming. I think I'm gonna be sick," he said, wrapping his arm around Gavin and burying his face in Gavin's shoulder.

"Hey, hey," Gavin says, squeezing him reassuringly despite his own slight nerves at the thought of meeting strangers, especially considering that the stranger in question represented the closest thing there was to Conner taking him home to meet his parents.

"Look," he says, pointing at the screen, "They put them at Dock 11B, we can take the tram up there."

--

Roddie spends several minutes after they land wringing his hands and wiping the sweat on his palms on his jeans, before reaching for his phone and tapping out "we're here," and sending it to the number Conner had given him. He then stands up, alternating between pacing wildly around the cabin and sitting down to rapidly bounce his leg.

"What if he doesn't come up, Tony?" he says, his insides churning, "What if he just turns around and goes back home? Or what if he was never here to begin with and someone's messing with me? Or what if --"

He reaches for the trash can nearby and pulls it into his lap, leaning over it as his face turns a shade of green.

Tony rubs his hand over Roddie's shoulders, sighing a little and trying to stifle his own nerves.

"He'll be here, it's all right," he says, swallowing thickly. Roddie had been something of a mess over the last couple of weeks, and Tony sincerely hoped that this meeting went well, because he didn't think his heart could take any more of this.

Just as he's about to fret himself into a panic attack, there's a knock on the hatch nearby and Tony springs up to press the button of the door release.

~

When the door hisses open there's a short young man standing there, with a short no-nonsense haircut and a pristine uniform.

"Um, hey, I'm Tony, Roddie is just--"

"You're Tony?" Conner says, his eyebrows shooting up, because this was nothing like the kind of person he'd expected Roddie to be dating. Tony just blinks at him, and Conner chokes back his disbelief, "I mean, uh, of course you are! Roddie, uh, mentioned you..." He trails off then, looking over Tony's shoulder where Roddie is stepping closer, and Conner offers him a crooked smile.

Roddie feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him when he sees him, and he attempts a smile back, maintaining it for all of a handfull of seconds before his shoulders start to shake and he's crying again. He wants to take a step forward and hug him, and he raises a hand and starts to, but stops mid step, pressing his hand to his mouth instead and crying into his palm.

"Hi," he croaks, his voice pathetically hoarse by now, and almost immediately the second words out of his are, "I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry," he repeats again, not knowing fully what he was apologizing for but feeling the need to say it anyway, "I should have -- f-found you sooner, I'm so sorry, Conner."

Conner's heart breaks at the look on Roddie's face, and despite being older he looks just like the fourteen year old kid he'd been, and just like back then Conner wants to protect him.

"Hey, buddy, it's all right," Conner says, immediately pushing past the others and reaching out to wrap Roddie in a hug, "It's not your fault, you didn't know. It's all right." He says, hugging Roddie close and rubbing his shoulders.

"You always were pretty bad at hide and seek," he says, chuckling a little even though he's choked up himself.

Roddie attempts a laugh, but can only sob harder into Conner's shoulder. He hugs him tight, feeling completely unable to let go for several minutes, before he finally takes a step back and gives Conner a squeeze on the shoulder.

"Y-you just hid too good," Roddie laughs, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve, "A-and I'd forget to keep looking. Uh...g-god, well, come in, you met Tony, right? My other friends are...here somewhere."

He only just notices the shorter man standing behind Conner, and he feels rude for not greeting him sooner.

"Hey," he says, wiping his hand on his pants before reaching around Conner to offer to shake his hand, "You're Gavin, right? You're...uh, beautiful. Just...you're just a very beautiful man, Conner's lucky to...sorry, that was...f-fucking weird, I'm kind of a mess."

"Oh, uh, don't worry about it," Gavin laughs gently, flushing at the acknowledgement and scratching behind his ear.

Conner laughs loudly at Roddie's observation, helping cut through the tension and reminding him that this was the kid he used to have to bail out when he stayed too late at the arcade. He slaps Roddie on the back, then steps forward to throw an arm around Gavin's shoulders.

"You're damn right he's beautiful. Finally someone other than me says it, huh?" he says, giving Gavin a big grin, and then laughing again when he sees the frown on Tony's face, "No worries, dude, we're committed." Tony startles at the comment, glancing between the three people in front of him.

"I wasn't-- I mean, I didn't--" Tony makes himself stop talking with a hand over his face, shaking his head, and it only makes Conner laugh harder.

Roddie laughs a little at Tony flustering, and slips his hand into Tony's as he walks over to sit on a nearby couch. He felt about as nervous now as Tony seemed to feel at all times, and squeezes his hand just a little tighter than he means to.

"I wasn't, uh, making a pass," He laughs, still sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and nose, "I-I just meant it like a...'good to see my buttface cousin landed a really good looking boyfriend somehow,' thing. I'm, uh, I'm good...with him."

He doesn't look at Tony when he says this, or at either of the others, fixing his eyes on his knees instead and blushing furiously.

Tony looks over at Roddie, his expression bewildered, as he can't ever remember seeing Roddie act this nervous and embarrassed in his life. Conner, meanwhile, is still laughing, apparently at ease even when meeting a long-lost relative he'd thought was dead. The man was a mystery.

"Oh my god, dude, do you still do that blushy thing? That's so fucking cute!" Conner exclaims, laughing, "Like you used to do with that kid who would come into the burger place all the time, and like, sit there on his computer and you'd like, bring him milkshakes and stuff?" Conner glances over at Tony, grinning, and then blinks, realizing something, "Oh no way, is this the same guy? He totally is! Oh my god, that's like, destiny or something, right?"

Roddie feels his face grow hotter, but he's smiling and laughing now, and he pulls Tony's hand into his lap.

"Yeah, uh, we figured this out a little while ago, before we were dating," he laughs, biting his lip and looking up from where his eyes had been fixed on his lap, "His dad would take him on business trips to Atlanta, and, uh, he'd come get milkshakes from us."

Gavin had been mostly quiet during all of this, feeling like he didn't have much to contribute to this reunion, but the look on Roddie and Tony's faces makes him laugh a little, and he covers his mouth and pretends to be coughing, not wanting to seem rude. He was glad to see the kid Conner had been anguishing over for most of his life was alive and well and disgustingly into a nervous little guy who perfectly parted his hair.

Edited 2015-05-03 22:43 (UTC)

"Oh, God," Tony says, mortified, covering his face with the hand Roddie isn't holding. Conner laughs again, and when his laughter fades he sighs happily, looking between Tony and Roddie.

"I'm really glad," he says, his tone warm and affectionate, "You seem really happy together." Conner looks warmly at Roddie, still not quite able to believe this was still his kid cousin, though it seemed he hadn't actually grown that much since he was a teenager.

"Can we, um, have a minute?" he asks, glancing at Tony and then back at Gavin. Tony blinks but nods rapidly, squeezing Roddie's hand and leaning over to kiss him on the mouth before he stands, leading Gavin away.

Gavin nods quickly, and gives Conner an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder before standing up.

"Yup, totally," he says, following Tony out of the room. Once they're in the hall, he gives Tony an apologetic half smile and scratches the back of his head.

"Sorry about him, he's a little...I can't think of a word for it that doesn't sound mean," Gavin laughs, rocking on his heels, "Uh...unaware of...other people's embarrassment? I think 'cause...he just never thinks poorly of anyone."

Back in the ship's common area, Roddie sits forward and clears his throat, suddenly finding himself alone with the person he'd been beating himself up over for years and not knowing what to say. He still felt on the verge of tears, and he wipes his nose and eyes with his hand, waiting uncertainly to hear what Conner wanted to say to him.

Tony laughs, shaking his head and laughing a little.

"That's all right. I'd apologize as well, but Roddie's just... nervous. I've never really seen him like this actually." Tony shrugs, leading Gavin into the kitchen and motioning to a chair, "Would you like something to drink? Tea?"

~

Conner runs his hand back through his hair, considering what to say to his long lost cousin.

"Um... So, it's all right of you don't want to talk about this, but... I called the hospital and when I got there you were... Gone. And..." He trails off, and his gaze lingers on Roddie's face and arm, then down to his leg, "And now you're..." His expression pinches in pain, far away from the ease from moments ago, "What happened?"

Roddie looks down at his hands, and considers how he could possibly answer the question. He'd been expecting it, but that didn't mean he was actually prepared to answer it.

"A...company, one that used to secretly use human test subjects for their medical products, um...bought me, from the hospital. Just paid them money to let them take me. They tested prosthetics on me, since my arm and leg were gone, and...that sounds like a good thing, but they...locked me up, and when they put them on hurt a lot, and they did a lot of...tests on reducing the pain on me so they could sell the finished product to people who could afford it."

He presses his lips together and folds his hands, taking a moment to steady himself before continuing.

"Anyway, I...obviously got out, cause an alien group broke in and exposed the facility after they bought a bunch of their stolen tech off the black market, and I stayed with one of them for a while. He was a couple years older, I was 16 and he was...I dunno, their ages are different, but I guess like what 18 would be for us. I sort of...fell in love with him for busting me out, even though he didn't care about me that much, I was not in a great place I guess, and when we broke up I...stole a ship from his family and left."

He laughs a little, wetting his lips and fidgeting slightly.

"I think he let me take it, really. Anyway, after that I met Zakeef, then Vira, then Boscha -- they're around somewhere, you'll have to meet them -- then I, uh...got a call from a friend on Earth about helping them disguise an AI, made by a different branch from the same company that bought me, and that's...kind of a long story that I guess you've probably heard by now. So after all that I got cleared by the federation for a couple of counts of piracy, as like an apology or a thank you or something for 'assisting in securing peaceful relationships with those who share this universe with us,' but they stuck me with a babysitter for a while -- Tony -- to make sure I didn't get up to anything else."

He clears his throat and looks up from his hands, attempting a smile.

"...What about you?" he asks, trying to laugh.

Conner listens carefully to Roddie's story, putting his hand on Roddie's halfway through and squeezing it.

"Nothing half as interesting as all that," he says with a smile that's still kind of sad, because while space pirate is exactly the kind of thing he expected to find Roddie doing, the way he got there sounds horrible, "But, uh... After you and your moms... Were gone, I couldn't afford rent so I... spent a couple of years mostly, um, homeless?" He tries to say this lightly, like it's not a big deal, even though it kind of was.

"I slept on friend's couches sometimes, and sometime I slept... other places. I got in with some... not great people, too, but that didn't last. Then I got a job at this guitar store, selling stuff and giving lessons and stuff like that, and I became roommates with my, uh, well she was kind of my girlfriend for a while, but that didn't last." Conner falls silent for a moment, trying to remember the things in his life that happened after that.

"Oh yeah! Then I met, like, all the government superheros. And slept with most of them," he pauses, laughing, "Uh, anyways, after that I met Gavin in a grocery store because we have... Eerily similar powers, and we kind of immediately fell in love so," he pauses, smiling warmly, "And now we're working on setting up this... summer camp thing for kids with superpowers."

He looks over at Roddie, smiling, and squeezes his hand again.

"I'm sorry that... I couldn't be there for you before, when you needed it," he says, his voice cracking as he gets choked up thinking about everything Roddie's been through, "I'm so sorry."

Roddie only nods in return, and he feels his eyes start to water again when Conner's voice cracks.

"I...I thought you were dead," Roddie chokes, his own voice breaking as well, "When I told them you'd be looking for me, they told me one day that...you'd come, and they'd killed you. I thought --"

He leans forward, pressing his palms over his eyes and sobbing quietly into them.

"I always thought I'd -- g-gotten you killed right when...things were getting better for you."

"Oh, Roddie," Conner says, sniffling and reaching out to pull Roddie into a hug, "Well, they were lying, because you didn't. I'm all right. I'm here. It's... It's okay, Roddie." Roddie's distress just heightens Conner's, and he feels sympathetic tears welling up in his eyes as he holds Roddie closely.

"I'm here, and you're here, and that's what matters, right?" he says, his voice hoarse and shaking, "It wasn't your fault, Roddie, none of it."

Roddie nods, sniffling and trembling as he holds tight to Conner's shoulders.

"M-maybe now that you're here I can...start to actually believe that," he mutters shakily, attempting a laugh but finding himself whimpering slightly instead. He feels like he doesn't ever want to let go of him, and for a long while he doesn't, crying quietly into Conner's shoulder and taking a great deal of reassurance from the feeling of Conner's hands rubbing up and down his back. When he does let go, it's reluctant, and he wipes furiously at his eyes as he tries to regain his composure.

"I-I'm...glad to see you're doing better. Way better than you used to be," Roddie stammers, trying to smile at him, but his eyes well up again at the expression on Conner's face and he has to break eye contact.

"Y-you should meet the others," he says abruptly, sniffling and rubbing his nose on his sleeve, "And Tony, you should meet Tony...more, I mean."

"Yeah, I am. I'm doing really great," he says with a sigh, smiling even as he wipes at his eyes. It's strange to realize he's come so far, even when for most of his life he felt like he was standing still.

"Yeah, I'd love to do that," he says, squeezing and rubbing Roddie's shoulder, "He seems... Really great." Conner pauses, considering how to phrase his next question as a big grin broke over his face, "But Roddie, seriously, a g-man?" he asks, laughing.

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