who_is_she | (no subject)

(no subject)

It had been almost a month since their somewhat disastrous first date, and while Billy hadn't technically dumped him, they hadn't really progressed much, either. They had continued going out together, and Minh had been having a great time, but Billy's messages were... confusing.

He seemed to avoid all physical contact, almost like he was disgusted by it, but he agreed to come out with Minh whenever he asked. Sometimes, when they were alone and Billy was relaxed, Billy would give him looks that sent a shiver down his spine. Minh was almost certain that Billy wanted more out of their relationship, and his resistance to it was starting to get a little frustrating.

Billy hadn't opened up any more about his problems, either, though Minh was reasonably sure he'd figured it out. He thought Billy had to have some kind of eating disorder, though he wasn't sure which one. Billy was so closed off about it, even when Minh had implied that he knew what Billy was going through he'd only been met with stares and brush-offs. He wanted to help, because every day he saw the pain in Billy's eyes, and he wanted to be with Billy, but he wasn't sure Billy actually wanted any help.

Today, they'd gone to a movie night at their college together, and Minh was doing his best to just enjoy Billy's presence and not think about the pressing issues. They were walking back through the darkened city after the movie, talking idly about nothing, when a voice rang out behind them.

"Hey, Minh! I didn't know your type was weird nerd." Minh startles and turns, his eyes going wide when he realizes the boy yelling at them is the same one who's been harassing him for months, ever since he'd unwisely made it known in one of their classes that he was gay.

"You gonna take him into an alley and suck him off?" the voice calls, and as Minh squints at him he realizes the bully must be drunk.

"Come on, Billy, let's go this way," he whispers to Billy, gently tugging him in the opposite direction of the bully--and the way home.

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Billy didn't know what to do.

His numerous attempts to let Minh down easy had been unsuccessful, partially because Minh was somewhat obtuse, but mostly because of his own unwillingness to end their budding relationship. It terrified him, and he feared that if he didn't even have enough self control to keep Minh at arm's length, he'd surely run out of the will to suppress his hunger.

But then, at the same time, the time Billy spent in Minh's company had frequently made him happier than he could remember being. Minh was kind, he made him smile and laugh and feel loved like nobody else had ever made him feel. Sometimes, he can almost forget their connection isn't real, and that the version of himself that Minh knows and likes is just about as fake as his dentures. He'd been in the middle of one of these moments as they walked back from the movie theater together, but the smile quickly falls off his face when he hears the jeering behind them. Startled, Billy turns around to look behind them, and his timid, sheepish reaction doesn't convey the anger that was now buzzing in his skull.

"Yeah, all right," he agrees quietly, flushing from rage and embarrassment and placing a protective arm around Minh's shoulder to keep him close, as he keeps his eye on the man over his shoulder.

"Hey, where are you going?" Yells the guy from behind them, and Minh starts to walk a little faster, "What, you're shy or something? Come on!" Minh jumps when the footsteps behind them increase suddenly, and before he can do anything he's yanked away from Billy's side. The drunk bully seems to trip a little as he yanks Minh away, and Minh stumbles and falls into a wall, thwacking his head against the wall. He yelps in surprise and pain, his head spinning as he looks up at the bully hovering over him, looking murderous.

He glances past the bully, seeing Billy over his shoulder as his breathing speeds up from panic.

"Billy," he gasps, then tries to scramble away as he sees the man pull out some kind of weapon--his head is spinning to much to figure out what it is.

"Hey, hey!" Billy shouts as Minh is ripped out of his arms and thrown on the ground. He grabs weakly at the man's arm, trying to restrain himself from fully attacking him, but quickly losing the will in his anger and fear. The stranger throws him off easily, knocking his head against the wall, and when he reaches up to rub his head he feels that one of his false ears has fallen off onto the pavement, and when he pulls his hand away he can see his own blue blood coating his fingers.

"Leave him alone, leave him alone! Just back off, man, let him go!" he screams, but it's like he isn't even there. The man is full force attacking Minh, and when Billy sees the knife in the assailant's hand, he loses all self control in his blinding panic. Reaching into his mouth, he yanks his false teeth from his mouth, exposing two rows of serrated fangs. He hisses once before shooting his tongue out of his mouth, quickly puncturing the man's neck with the poisonous tooth on the end, paralyzing him almost immediately.

At first, Minh is sure he's hallucinating. He just hit his head and is now seeing things. But as the man who was attacking him slumps to the ground, Minh's head actually feels like it's clearing, but what he's seeing doesn't fade in the slightest.

He gapes at Billy for a long moment, his eyes wide and shocked, taking in his sharp teeth and apparently extremely long tongue and--his hair was on sideways, which meant that was a wig. After the initial what the fuck moment fades it suddenly starts making sense, how distant and reserved Billy is, his vague comments about eating and self control--this makes more sense than an eating disorder, anyways.

"Oh, Billy," he says, his voice gentle and colored with compassion and empathy, for what Billy must have been through, for what he goes through every day.

Once Billy had come to his senses, he'd expected to hear a lot of things from Minh. Screaming, cursing while running for his life, anything but the gentle and pitying response he gives him. He turns to him, wide eyed and confused and trembling slightly, to face him, afraid of what he'll see if he does but unable to keep himself from looking nonetheless. His expression is just as open and compassionate as his voice, and Billy, deeply shaken, reaches up to slowly remove his wig, revealing the spines that covered his otherwise bald head. His eyes begin to well up slightly, displacing his contacts.

"...I eat. People," he blurts out stupidly, his voice breaking a little, "At least. I want to."

Minh nods slightly, slowly pushing himself up and standing, one hand on the wall keeping him steady until he's sure his legs will hold his weight. He has to step over the body to get to Billy, and he doesn't spare it a glance, his attention focused on Billy instead. He reaches out hesitantly, unsure if Billy wants to be touched, then gently touches the side of his head where his fake ear had been.

"Thank you, for saving me," he says softly, rubbing his fingers back and forth, then his expression creases with worry again, "What you must have been through."

Billy's face only grows more pained and confused, and his instinct is to flinch away from his hand, but he only turns his face halfway away before he stops himself, breathing shakily through his mouth and shivering as he allows himself to be touched. He brings an unsteady hand up, and his fingers graze over the back of Minh's hand and curl around his wrist. After blinking rapidly several times, trying without luck to get his contacts to settle back into place, he pulls them out, revealing his dialated, snakelike eyes and immediately averting them, shamefully.

"...I-I almost wish you'd scream or something," he stammers, his voice wavering on the exhale.

Minh smiles a little, sadly, moving his hand away from Billy's cheek to take his hand, instead, lowering it between them.

"It's still you in there, right?" he says with a more heartfelt smile, "You're not scary. You're just Billy." He smiles warmly, squeezing Billy's hand, then pushes up on his toes to kiss Billy's mouth once.

Billy makes a weak noise of protest before caving, kissing him back soft and slow, the way he'd wanted to, and pulling Minh's body close to his own. He only breaks away when his stomach gurgles, making him keel over, and he realizes the taste of Minh's mouth was making him salivate. His expression turns pained again, and he pulls away, pressing his face into his palms.

"I can't," he says, his voice cracking as his face grows hot with shame, "I can't, still, Minh, I can't, you know now why I can't, I'm -- I'm not....safe, I'm not, I'm always hungry, I'm always thinking about it, every hour of every day, and I don't...trust myself when I'm hungry. I-I can't --"

His stomach gurgles again, and he bites down hard enough on his own lip to draw blood.

"I'm so hungry," he says weakly, and as he finally looks at Minh he feels as if he's breaking open, his walls crumbling as he looks at Minh with an expression that clearly displays all the sadness and fear he'd been bottling up for years.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Minh says, his eyes wide as he leans over to rub Billy's back, the look on Billy's face breaking his heart, "Do you have, um, alternatives? Like, non-human alternatives?"

Minh squats down next to Billy, rubbing his hands over his shoulders and wrap his arms around him, wondering if he really should be scared. He just can't imagine Billy ever hurting him, even accidentally, even with how he'd obviously been struggling with his hunger. He just... trusted him.

Billy shakes his head, but doesn't pull away from Minh this time, for once allowing himself to be held. He leans forward, resting his head on Minh's shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut tight to stop himself from hungrily eyeing the man on the ground next to them.

"I-I don't know," he says, swallowing thickly in an attempt to wet his dry mouth, "I've...stolen meat from work before, the uncooked stuff. S-Sometimes it helps. Eating that. But I have to keep eating and eating and eating and I still -- it's not quite...right, it's not enough."

Minh sighs, cupping the back of Billy's head and pressing his mouth against his skull.

"Um, we... Have a... freezer full of like, rats and meat for snakes and stuff. Maybe, um, you could try that? I mean, meat leftovers don't generally have... You know, other parts that... Maybe you need?" Minh says, thinking of what he knows about animal diets.

Billy is dumfounded by Minh's reaction, unsure how to react to the fact that Minh still wanted to help him, but he nods after a spell, pulling back to look at Billy's face when the smell of his skin starts getting to his head.

"Yeah," he says, his tone plainly desperate, "Yeah, uh...we can try that, please."

Minh nods, rubbing Billy's shoulders and smiling encouragingly.

"It's a date," he says, taking a step back and almost tripping over the body he'd forgotten about.

"Oh," he says disdainfully, making a face, "Is he... going to be okay?" He says, his tone communicating how little he actually cares about the bully's well-being.

"Yeah," Billy says, nodding dazedly while still avoiding looking at the body, "Yeah, it's just a paralyzing venom, he'll be fine, I'm...sorry, I need to get away from him, I'm...so hungry."

He heaves a loud sigh, pulling his hood up over his head and shuffling on ahead of Billy on the way to his house.

Minh follows Billy back to his car and they drive back to his house in relative silence, though Billy is tense and on edge. Minh finds himself strangely excited by this turn of events, not by the things Billy has been through but the idea of Billy being a good hearted monster.

Minh's mother is asleep when they get back to his house, but Minh doesn't bother sneaking because they have a separate shed with a freezer full of meat for various animals.

"Um, we have like... Some things for snakes and..." Minh starts to say and then pauses, making a face, "How about you just... Pick whatever you want."

Billy's pupils dialate when he sees the meat in the freezer, turning his eyes almost completely black.

"Oh...god," he mumbles, his hunger almost overwhelming now, and he tries to have some semblance of manners as he digs through the freezer and pulls out several frozen animals and unidentifiable slabs of meat. Self control, he repeats to himself, over and over, but he can't help lifting one of the chunks to his mouth and biting off a piece.

"I'm sorry," he mutters around a mouthful and feeling completely revolting as he goes to tear off another bite, "I'm sorry, thank you so much, I'm really sorry."

Minh averts his eyes when Billy starts to eat, but reaches out to put a hand on Billy's back.

"It's all right, Billy, it's all right," he says softly, "Just eat, don't worry about it."

Billy does eat, more than he's eaten in years, and after a few minutes he runs out of the willpower to continue imitating human manners, opting to crouch on the floor and savagely stuff his face instead. The frozen meat doesn't even have time to thaw before he's finished with them, and by the time he's done his teeth and the area around his mouth is a bloody mess. Heaving a loud, satisfied sigh of relief, is pupils shrink as he comes out of the almost trance-like state he often went into when he was feeding, and his usual mild, sheepish, non-animalistic mannerisms start to return to him.

"I'm...not hungry," he mutters, after blinking dazedly several times, "I...cant remember the last time I wasn't hungry, I--"

He turns to look at Minh, who he realizes has averted his eyes, and the shame returns to him as quickly as it had gone. He wipes his mouth, suddenly painfully conscious of how disgusting he must look to him.

"Do you...have a toothbrush?" he asks awkwardly, clearing his throat.

Minh chuckles a little, smiling at Billy and then leaning over to grab a towel from a nearby stack. He gently wipes the mess from Billy's face, his touch tender and his expression interested still.

"Yeah, absolutely, but maybe we should clean you up a little in case my mom gets up," he says, smiling cheerfully, and kisses Billy's forehead after his face and hands are clean, "I'm glad you feel better."

Billy takes the rag from Minh's hands and dabs at a few places Minh had missed, and when he's reasonably sure Minh isn't completely disgusted with him, he starts to mellow out and relax more than he's been able to in a while. Billy finds himself staring at Minh for a moment, caught up in his fondness and his relief, and he brings up a hand to brush his thumb over his cheek.

"Oh, your mom," he says suddenly, thumping himself on the head, "I should...put my stuff back on." He reaches into his pocket and takes out his wig, pulling it onto his head, and sticking his false ears onto the sides of his head. He doesn't replace the teeth yet, shooting a glance at the door behind them and and then back at Minh.

"I guess I could...brush my teeth and we could...go to your room?" Billy suggests, innocently.

Minh's heart thumps at Billy's apparently innocent suggestion, and finds himself nodding eagerly. After a moment he clears his throat and pulls himself together, remembering that Billy had been through a lot today and having his mind in the gutter wouldn't help anything.

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely," he says, nodding, "My mom probably isn't even awake." He leads Billy up to the house and into the upstairs bathroom, finding a new toothbrush under the sink and handing it over and then leading Billy into his room.

Billy brushes his teeth quickly, making sure there isn't any blood or meat stuck between the rows of fangs before rinsing his mouth out. He leaves the contacts out, for now (they were scratchy, and he hated them) as well as his dentures (they gave him a lisp), and he flicks out the bathroom light before heading into Minh's room. Minh is there already, sitting on his bed while he waits for him, and Billy is surprised again how calm Minh seems to be about this whole thing. He was endlessly relieved and grateful for it, of course, but now that his head wasn't spinning he was realizing his reaction was pretty...atypical.

"So have you, like...gone out with other guys who turned out to be man-eating reptillian monsters who wear human disguises before or something?" he asks, his voice rasping a little as he attempts a laugh, "I mean...you're pretty...okay with this, it seems like."

Minh laughs a little, nervously, flushing and almost unconsciously glancing towards a poster in his room depicting a popular vampire movie series.

"Um, no, but..." he says, swallowing and considering how to say this in the least embarrassing way, "I guess... I kind of... Have enjoyed a... Similar situation as a... Fantasy." Minh flushes darkly and looks away, mortified, "I mean, just like, it's not something that bothers me because it's an... Interest. Of mine."

"Oh," Billy says, his eyes popping a little, "Wait. Oh. What?" He looks around the room, taking in the various horror movie posters and cutouts from various monster movies, and notes a few books on his nightstand with titles like "101 Dark Nights," "Protective Instinct," and "Viper's Defiant Mate," and it clicks.

"I...oh," he says, blushing furiously and fumbling to put his glasses back on, "This is like. A thing you're, uh. Into. In like. A...sex. Way."

"Not--! Not necessarily!" Minh protested immediately, flushing crimson, "I mean, I just think it's kind of cool, not-- not like I..." Minh trails off, realizing how frantic and desperate his excuse sounds. He sighs, running his hand through his hair.

"All right, it's a little like that, I just... I like it."

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