who_is_she | him scream

him scream

It had been several weeks since he and Roddie had kissed (for the second time) and the inevitable fallout Tony had been expecting just... didn't happen. They just had fun together, sitting close together on the couch or laying together on one of their beds, watching a movie or just sitting together while they did other things. Roddie just... made him happy, and that was as simple as it was.

It wasn't that Tony was expecting something terrible to happen any less, it was just that the terrible things he imagined were more along the lines of "what if the life support systems fail and we choke to death" than "Roddie realizes what a joke of a human being I am and dumps me for someone who's actually funny and interesting". Roddie just... liked him, for whatever reason, and Tony knew Roddie well enough that earning his care was not something you took lightly. Tony may be pretty stupid, but he wasn't so stupid he'd squander such a gift.

They'd been moving slowly, Tony stepping lightly because one wrong move could mean disaster, and he didn't want to push Roddie any farther than he wanted to go. However, Roddie seemed to be taking the same approach with their relationship, which meant they inched forward incredibly slowly. They'd barely even moved past kissing into real making out; the several times their kissing had grown heated either one or both of them would pull back and slow things down again.

Tony couldn't even say he was frustrated, because he was just always happy around Roddie, no matter what they were doing or what else he might want to be doing. It wasn't that urgent, and they could take their time.

However, this relaxed approach meant that when bandits disable their ship and board, with intent to kill them and sell the ship off for parts. They all get locked down and separated, which means of course Roddie and Tony had been together. They snuck out of the room together and moved towards the cargo deck, where Boscha was already fighting them off. Tony feels like his head is going to explode at any moment, but he follows Roddie closely, their hands grasped tightly together despite how it offbalances them both.

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Roddie's heart was pounding in his ears, and as stressed as he was he was certain Tony was about ten times worse. He keeps him close, both for fear of losing track of him and for the sake of Tony's comfort, and when one of the bandits passes the walkway in front of them he jerks him around a corner and covers his mouth with his hand. After what feels like several minutes of holding their breath, he removes his hand, and leans against him for a moment as he pants for air.

"Tony, listen to me," he whispers, reaching into his holster, "I've got to get down and help Boscha. When we get down there, I want you to duck behind that console down there that Vira's always using. Stay there, okay? Just keep out of sight and out of the line of fire. I'm giving you my gun."

He takes one of his pistols out of its holster and presses it into Tony's hand.

"Here's the safety, it's already got a heat clip in it," he says, clasping Tony's hands in his own, "Don't forget to take the safety off if you need to use it. We're gonna be fine, okay? Just keep your head down and stay behind the console and don't get up, whatever you do."

He wants to say more, but declaring his undying love at a time like this felt too much like a death sentence, so rather than giving either of the two of them enough time to say something dramatic, he pulls Tony back out into the hall, and they continue to make their way down to the cargo bay.

"Roddie--!" Tony starts to object, his voice high and screechy, but Roddie doesn't let him go any further as he drags them back down the hall. Roddie's gun is overly heavy in his hand, like no matter how he tries he can't grip it properly, and his head is probably spinning too quickly and furiously to allow him to shoot anything, anyways.

"Roddie, no," he whisper-shouts as Roddie slowly and carefully opens the cargo hatch, "I'm not leaving your side." It's quite possibly the stupidest thing he's ever done; refuse the safe and logical choice just to make sure Roddie doesn't wind up getting himself killed. Not that he'd even be especially helpful in that situation.

"Tony, baby, please," he sighs, gripping him by both his shoulders. The pet name slips out; he'd never called him that before, and he hadn't meant to do it now, but he plows ahead anyway.

"I'll stay close by," he assures him, his voice breaking a little in desperation despite his attempts to keep it level for Tony's sake, "Please, I just want you to stay in cover and keep your head down until everything's safe."

A shout rings out below them, reminding Roddie of the urgency of the situation, and he has no choice but to jump down the hatch and hope Tony would follow his directions. Almost immediately, he's set upon by one of the bandits, who he evades and shoots quickly in the stomach and head before turning around to help Tony down the ladder. Once he's down, he pulls him behind the console, pushing him down to his knees and lingering a moment before standing back up with his gun drawn and ready.

"Fuck that!" Tony exclaims, barreling on despite the way being called baby makes him blush, "I'm staying with you! You'll just-- you'll die!" He's almost screeching, and he just barely manages to keep his voice low enough to keep from drawing attention.

He gets back up, adjusting his grip on the gun to be more secure, forcing himself to focus rather than cower in a corner and cry.

Boscha, from the other end of the cargo bay, lets out a bellowing laugh, knocking two bandits heads together as four more advance on her.

"Come and get me, you weak little babies!" she yells, her expression gleeful, and then she spots Roddie and Tony advancing towards her, "My friends!" She says, throwing her arms out towards them, "Join the party!"

Two of the bandits turn away from her to attack Tony and Roddie, and Tony aims and shoots, staying behind Roddie a step or two.

"I'm going to kill her, later," he growls, taking several shots to take down one of the bandits.

Roddie opens his mouth to protest but, realizing he didn't have time and that Tony just wasn't going to listen, drops it, despite the anxiety that was now churning in his gut.

"...Nice shot," he mutters, offering Tony a weak smile. A bullet whizzes past his head, and he ducks behind an overturned table before taking out his assailant.

It's then that he notices that one of the bandits who had just entered. They were carrying a very large gun, which glowed blue as the user began to charge it up, and Roddie quickly recognized it as one meant for overloading tech. Boscha obviously hadn't noticed, and Roddie realizes in horror as the gun is pointed towards her that the shot was meant for her.

"Boscha!" he screams, "Look out, your gloves, he's going to blow them up, Boscha, move!"

Even as he screams, he jumps up from cover and charges across the room as fast as he could, shoving her out of the way with all his strength just in time to be hit by the blast himself. He only has time to hear a voice he thought was his own screaming in pain before everything goes black.

Tony catches onto what’s happening a beat after Roddie, and a beat too late to do anything about it.

“Roddie, no!” he screams, as the blast crackles over his prosthetics and sends him crashing into the wall with a thunk that makes Tony’s blood run cold. Boscha echoes his cry, and then turns back to the bandits who were aiming the huge gun at her for another blow, her gleeful expression turned to fury. Together they make quick work of the rest of the bandits, though truthfully Boscha does most of the work. The moment the last bandit falls Tony rushes over to Roddie’s side, feeling frantic.

“Oh, God, oh fuck, oh Roddie, you stupid—you fucking, fuck—“ Tony swears colorfully, dropping to his knees next to Roddie and putting his hand over his mouth, and for a terrifying moment he feels nothing and the world tilts dizzyingly. He sobs when he feels a soft, warm breath against his fingers, his relief palpable.

“Oh, fucking Jesus Christ almighty,” he groans, his hands hovering over Roddie as he tries to assess the damage. The scorch marks seem mostly concentrated on his prosthetic side, but he seems to have radial burns on his body closest to the metal parts. Tony makes himself focus, and yells for all of the first aid equipment on the ship.

“Roddie, Roddie…” he says, reaching up to stroke Roddie’s cheek, swallowing back tears, “You can’t die on me, okay? You can’t, I love you too much, I won’t let you go, okay? So just… Just stay, okay?”

It takes several hours, but after several very intense hours of keeping Roddie on life support and frantically scanning for a place to dock, they find a space station not too far from their location. That part is Vira's work, and once they accept her pleads for help over the radio and clear their crew for landing, they had set about finding a way to actually get there. The ship was badly damaged and in no state to fly; the bandit ship, however, was in perfect condition. Ajax, enlisting Boscha's assistance, clears the ship of any remaining bandits, and, although the technology is unfamiliar, is quickly able hack into the system and learn enough about it to pilot it in a straight line towards their destination, towing the Tacoma behind it. Zakeef, much to his chagrin, is unable to provide much assistance, having broken his leg in the attack, and instead sits on a bed near where Tony was hovering over Roddie in the med bay, overcome with guilt and grief and fear that presented itself in the form of angered words and watering eyes. Roddie is taken by the space station's medical and tech staff immediately upon their arrival, and is rolled on a stretcher down to the medical wing as quickly as possible. They allow one member of the crew to accompany them as they operate on him, and the others, albeit somewhat reluctantly, cede the position to Tony, and not only because he was the only member of the crew with any medical experience. For the other four members of the crew, all there was to do now was wait.

Tony doesn't relax until the doctor tells him Roddie is stable and will likely make a full recovery. The only problem is that Roddie's prosthetics were too badly damaged to be usable anymore, and due to their integration into his system the doctors couldn't even remove them. They tell him that they've reached out to the engineering department for help, but that the mechanical parts can't be worked on until his physical injuries are allowed more time to heal.

Tony sits at Roddie's side the whole time, only leaving a couple of times to get more coffee and check in with the others. He's haggard and on edge; his mind still racing with all the regrets he'd have if he had lost Roddie today. He thought they had time, time to be stupid, but now he realizes how deeply he cares for Roddie and how much he wants out of their relationship--forever, really, not that he's quite ready to tell Roddie about that part.

He's just waiting for Roddie to wake up, sitting on the edge of his seat, going over and over all the things he wants to say, all the things he needs Roddie to know about.

When Roddie finally comes to, dizzy from the pain medicine the doctors had put him on, the first thing he sees is Tony sitting next to his bed, looking weary and drained. He tries to reach out for him with his prosthetic hand, but finds it doesn't move when he tells it to.

"Ugh," he groans, blinking a few times and rubbing his face with his left hand, "Hey. Am I dead?"

Tony starts when Roddie speaks, sitting up straighter and scooting closer to him.

"No," he says, his voice hoarse and scratchy, "But not for lack of trying."

Roddie laughs a little, reaching for Tony with his working hand once he's within reach and running his fingers over his cheek and back through his hair.

"Sorry about that," he mutters, blinking slowly and quietly appreciating the sight of Tony's face, "I didn't mean to scare you. How are you doing? Are the others all right?"

As the memories start to come back to him, he knows his tone is too calm and too casual for what they'd been through today, but he can't summon the energy to allow himself to have a proper reaction, not when he's so happy to see Tony alive and well.

Tony nods, holding Roddie's hand tightly, feeling strangely detached now that Roddie's awake.

"Zakeef broke his leg, but he's already up and about again. The ship's... not in great shape, but Ajax is already working on it, and this station said they could help too," he explains quietly, looking down at their hands rather than up at Roddie's face, "Your cybernetics were badly damaged. They said they'd send an engineer to look at them, but... They might need to be removed." He sighs, looking back up at Roddie's face, his expression pained, "If you ever do that again I'll kill you, okay?"

Roddie is relieved, for now, in spite of the news about his prosthetics, and he lets out a low sigh as he looks over Tony's face with half closed eyes. He feels a twinge of guilt when he sees just how haggard he looks, and it's obvious that he's been crying.

"Tony, I'm sorry," he mumbles, putting a hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down to kiss the bridge of his nose, "I won't. I'll do my best, I swear, it's okay."

Tony sighs again, this one sounding more broken than annoyed. He leans into Roddie's touch, taking a deep, shaking breath before leaning back to make eye contact.

"Roddie... I... I love you. I thought... I thought you were going to die not knowing that, not knowing how much I... You're just, you're everything to me, you're my world and you... You should know that." He's shaking as he speaks, not really expecting Roddie too refuse him but still dreading it.

Tony's words make Roddie feel weak, and he looks up at him with a soft expression, unable to keep a smile from spreading across his face.

"I love you, too, Tony, I love you too," he says quickly, pulling him down and kissing him again, this time on the lips, "God, I love you too, it's okay, Jesus, you're shaking so much. It's okay, baby, it's okay."

He pecks him several more times between his words, and when he's out of words to say he pulls him in even closer and kisses him soundly and in earnest, clutching a fistful of the back of Tony's shirt in his hand.

Tony laughs breathlessly at Roddie's enthusiastic reaction, his heart soaring from Roddie's returning his feelings. He grabs Roddie back when he kisses him, holding him tightly and kissing back as passionately as he can manage, until he remembers after a moment that they're in a hospital room.

"Roddie," he says gently, pulling away, though not very far, "You're hurt. You need to rest." He still leans his head against Roddie's, not wanting to move any further away than this but his conscious not letting him do anything more than hug, despite what he might want.

"I am resting!" Roddie protests gently, craning his head up despite the stiffness of the metal side of his neck and kissing at the corners of Tony's mouth, "This is resting. I feel very restful. Here."

With a great deal of effort, he's able to maneuver himself until he's only taking up half the bed, and pats the spot next to him.

"Come lay down with me," he says, his eyes half lidded and a stupid grin on his face, "You need to rest way more than me. I got plenty of rest being unconscious."

"Roddie," Toby protests, but his tone is undercut by his laughter, "Stop it." Despite his protests he lays down next to Roddie, heaving a big sigh as he settles into Roddie's warmth and comfort. He touches him gingerly, not wanting to touch or brush against his bandages, but is too grateful for the physical reminder of Roddie's well-being to pull away.

"I love you," he says again, just because he can and it's true, resting his head on Roddie's unscathed shoulder, "I want to make you promise you won't ever do something like that again but I know you would do it again in a second," he says, sighing and smiling a little, "You big dumb hero."

Roddie laughs a little, sliding his arm around Tony and resting his cheek against Tony's forehead.

"I love you too," he sighs, closing his eyes with a contented smile on his face, "If I tell you I won't ever do that again will it make you feel better?"

His smile broadens as he turns his head to face him, his nose and lips brushing against Tony's forehead.

"I'll retire for you if you want," he says, planting a wet kiss on Tony's forehead, "I'll quit my job and get a house and never go outside again."

Tony laughs, shaking his head a little and leaning back to smile at Roddie.

"It might make me feel better, but I know it wouldn't be true," he says, shrugging, then falls silent and stares at Roddie's offer.

"You wouldn't be happy like that, though," Tony says thoughtfully, touched that Roddie would even jokingly offer something like that, "Living in the suburbs, playing golf every Saturday with a guy named Paul?" Tony jokes, knowing how little Roddie wants that kind of life.

Roddie screws up his face and wrinkles his nose, shaking his head.

"No," he laughs, "No. I don't want to play golf with Paul. Or squash with Gerald. Or tennis with Richard. I guess that's what I get for falling for a guy named Anthony, though, huh?"

Tony laughs and nods, putting his head back down on Roddie's shoulder.

"You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it," he says, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, finally starting to relax and feeling his exhaustion catching up with him, "I know how to play golf," he says, already halfway towards asleep.

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