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who_is_she) wrote2014-12-18 06:25 am
if i was gay i would be on my knees sucking your dick right now
Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter, he recited in his head, trying to find strength in the words to resist temptation. That line, however, just brought him back to the issue at hand; Hawke. Hawke made it a habit to stand in front of the corrupt and the wicked, and he never faltered. Today had been an example of that very virtue of his. Hawke had heard about a group of bandits preying on innocent travelers and had asked Aveline, Sebastian and Varric along with him to help. It had turned out the bandits were also slavers, and what had originally been planned as a couple of days in the Wounded Coast turned into nearly a week of tracking down the slavers and freeing their captives.
Today they had finally reached their main hideout and leaders, and Hawke had been a force of nature, his blade glinting and his expression fierce as he cut down the wicked.
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just, Sebastian recited hurriedly, though that too only served to strengthen his thoughts about Hawke. He was the Champion of Kirkwall after all, and though the man himself wasn't overly fond of that title, Sebastian had thought it was a very apt testament of the strength and goodness in Hawke's heart. Hawke was the best man Sebastian had ever known, had helped him when no one else would, and even found Sebastian worthy of being his friend. The nervous flutter in Sebastian's stomach that accompanied that thought was quickly overrun by panic, and he focused on the Chant again:
Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood the Maker's will is written.
That was slightly morbid, but at least it didn't remind Sebastian of any of Hawke's plethora of virtues.
For years, Sebastian had been content with his vows, content to deny himself fleeting pleasures and focus on his faith and his purpose. It had been difficult, at times, but any temptation he had felt before had been a light tease compared to Hawke. It was not wholly unheard of for a Chanter to recant their vows and take a spouse, but in that case the love shared between them was supposed to be strong and pure, comparable to the love that had been shared between Andraste and the Maker.
Whatever feelings he was harboring for Hawke, they were certainly not pure.
If the feelings had been purely physical in nature, Sebastian was sure he would not be dwelling so on them. After all, there had been a time when Sebastian would let anyone he fancied enough into his bed, and though he had taken his vows he had never lost his appreciation for a well-formed body. It had never before gone past appreciation, however, and Sebastian's feelings for Hawke had sprinted right past appreciation and into desire. He'd had the first dream several weeks after he'd taken to following Hawke around, a dream of hot breath and warm skin. It had been easy enough to deny, at first, but as time wore on the feelings only grew in strength, and the tone of the dreams... changed.
When he was young he had often desired lovers who were larger than him, physically, just for the sake of being able to wield power over him. He'd found he enjoyed submitting to their will, enjoyed the strange mix of pain with pleasure. After he'd joined the Chantry he had realized this was a sin, a desire based in deceit and pride, and he had assumed it had been a faded whim of youth. According to the dreams, this was not so.
He dreamed of Hawke towering over him, forcing Sebastian to his knees and using his mouth or bending him over and entering him, taking him roughly. He dreamed of Hawke's arms, big and strong and muscled and holding him down, holding him back, keeping him still. Then just to make things more confusing, he also dreamed of Hawke's mouth against his, Hawke's fierce eyes burning with passion and then gazing with affection, Hawke's fingers in his hair.
It was the worst tempation Sebastian had ever encountered, but he learned he could keep it under control if he limited his interactions with Hawke wherever possible, and recited the Chant to himself if he ever felt the tug.
That was why he was desperately clinging to the words now; he'd spent an entire week in close quarters with Hawke, sharing a tent with him when Aveline and Varric were on watch, seeing him from the moment Sebastian woke until the moment he fell asleep, and Sebastian's patience was wearing thin.
He was hanging back from the others as they made their way back towards Kirkwall, occasionally muttering verses to himself and doing everything in his power to not let his gaze be drawn to the way Hawke's armor accentuated his rear. They were still a full day's journey from Kirkwall and the sun was hanging low in the sky; soon they would stop to set up camp and Sebastian's greatest desire was to not share a tent with Hawke again, and not be subjected to another long night of Hawke's breath puffing against the back of his neck and making all his senses sing with his desire to have the man close.
I want to be a dragon
Weary from a long days travel Hawke ceases and turns to his companions.
“This is a good spot to rest.”
He doesn’t delay in helping Varric set up a camp, making sure the fire got started before it got too dark. The journey itself wasn’t too bad but wearing heavy warrior armor made it tiresome. As exhausted as he was he felt at ease. He knew he was in good company, He doesn’t get many chances to spend time with Aveline. Quite busy being Captain of the Guard, but her presence was always appreciated.
Varric’s company is never dull. Whether Hawke wanted him there or not, there was no use in getting rid of this dwarf. He would not object, tales by the campfire would made any trek worthwhile, Varric’s stories are one of a kind. Hawke had gotten so used to listening to them during travels that a night without one would be one without sleep. Being around Varric proved to always be entertaining and a bit comforting.
That Chantry Brother, Sebastian, he seemed a bit distant lately. It hasn’t really bothered Hawke that much, nor had he paid that much attention. He could almost continue things unnoticed when his right hand dwarf was the center of it for most of the quest. However, Hawke felt quite confused as to why Sebastian was avoiding him. Hawke has a knack for making peoples’ problems his problems. In fact his concern for people is quite sweet, and to some, annoying.
But he won’t yield. Not this time, especially for him. He knew Sebastian was a rather “pure” man. Hawke wasn’t exactly a doubter by any means but nowhere near a man of faith. Recognizing the vows Sebastian took, a life of poverty and chastity, Hawke grew quite curious just how exactly that went. He found it rather unbelievable, considering what a handsome person Sebastian was. Hawke had nothing but respect for that, that commitment takes the kind of strength that no battle could ever amount. He wondered how does one keep themselves from getting intimate.
Temptation, did he ever give in? How does he deal with that? Hawke’s curiosity was growing. Does he ever have urges? What is considered impure? So many thoughts and yet he’s never found the moment to question Sebastian. Nonetheless, if he’d been growing coldly, Hawke would make sure to warm him up. Perhaps even in a literal sense, that is…if Sebastian welcomed it.
Hawke took initiative and decided to reach out to Sebastian. They were all friends, why not invite him to cozy up by a warm fire. Friendly as always, Hawke’s chipper glow radiated, he approached the man.
“Would you like to join me by the fire? We could all unwind for a bit.”
Re: I want to be a dragon
He turns from where he'd been inventorying and organizing their supplies, giving Hawke a slightly wary smile.
"That sounds lovely, thank you, Garrett," Sebastian says, inclining his head and altogether not spending too much time actually looking at Hawke or standing close to him. His smile was too warm. Maker, his very being was too warm, that was the whole problem. He moved over to the fire and sat near Varric, leaving plenty of room between himself and Aveline for Hawke to sit, hoping the man doesn't sit too close.
"Ah, choir boy joins us finally!" Varric says as Sebastian sits down, and Sebastian smiles over at him. He's always greatly enjoyed Varric's presence, his charm and his ability to put people at ease. Varric passes him some bread, slightly stale but edible, and Sebastian accepts it gratefully.
"Yes, Hawke was kind enough to invite me over," Sebastian says, ducking his head a little and smiling warmly, for all he couldn't bring himself to actually look at the man in question. And, due to his position, he totally missed Varric raising an eyebrow and trading a look with Aveline.
Re: I want to be a dragon
“It’s so nice to have you all with me.”
He doesn’t delay in putting an entire roll in his mouth, he was much hungrier than he thought. Even with a mouth full of bread, his attention is still narrowing on Sebastian. He was still curious about, well, everything. Now wouldn’t be the best time to ask his sillier questions but he still wants to raise that one concern.
Varric is preparing to whip out another tale for the night. Aveline looks just as eager to listen. The story begins and yet Hawke is not as attentive as he should be. He knows Varric can get pretty wrapped up so he’s not too worried being caught spacing out. Aveline is already enthralled by the theatrics. She is all the audience Varric needed. Hawke wanted to clear the air. Make sure Sebastian is able to speak his mind with Hawke. His beard, littered in bread crumbs, he pats his face clean and leans over to focus on Sebastian.
“Have you been alright? I want you to know that if there is anything amiss you can always tell me.”
Hawke paused a bit.
Wow. Sebastian is REALLY handsome.
Even more so being closer.
Good eye, Hawke.
“And, uhh—“
He’s stumbling over words.
Being too forward now.
“It can be said in private if you’d like.”
A strange offer. What could this imply. Too many thoughts come rushing in, he can’t help but give a nervous chuckle. He’s hoping the light of the fire is masking his suddenly red cheeks.
Oh, Maker.
What has gone over him. Being this physically close to Sebastian has made Hawke feel funny.
Keep it together, Garrett.
Re: I want to be a dragon
And then of course Hawke leans in close and whispers in Sebastian's ear, his hot breath ghosting over the sensitive skin of Sebastian's ear. He flushes hotly and looks down into his own lap, sure that Hawke will be able to hear the pounding of his heart. Sebastian is so focused on stifling his reaction to Hawke being so close that he almost doesn't register what he's saying.
The offer of privacy makes Sebastian's eyes go wide, too vague to be sure what he means but just suggestive enough that it has Sebastian's mind whirling with possibilities. Oh, the things Sebastian could say to him...
"I'm fine," he says finally, his voice strangled as he wrestles himself away from dangerous thoughts, "Nothing... amiss. Nothing at all to discuss in private." Sebastian laughs a little and it sounds strange and awkward to his own ears, and he still can't look at Hawke.
Re: I want to be a dragon
Hawke isn’t entirely convinced but hearing him reply gave some comfort. He thought he’d be able to tune back to Varric’s story but now a new feeling arises. He feels his body heating up, still red from before. He can’t shake this weird fluttering in his stomach. Hearing Sebastian’s voice was really nice, talking to him is nice.
Sebastian…is nice.
Hawke couldn’t get the thoughts out of his head, he wants to pay attention to Varric so badly but his mind was elsewhere. He was beginning to sweat, questioning why he so boldly decided to sit next to Sebastian. Hawke’s eyes were focused on Varric but he was not processing the story at all. At times he would try to sneak glimpses at Sebastian, wondering if he also was looking back. His sight was set on Varric so Hawke did not feel guilty getting small peaks. Each time was a rush.
What’s gone over with me?
Hawke can’t bear to sit around much longer. He wasn’t sure if Varric’s near the conclusion yet, but he knew he had to leave.
“Sorry to interrupt but I’m calling it a night. Thanks for the story, Varric!”
He leapt from his seat and scurried into the tent before anyone had a chance to say goodnight. Hawke immediately buries his face into his blankets. It was obvious now. He had been developing a small crush on Sebastian.
That’s fantastic. You outdid yourself. A man with vows.
Hawke begins to mentally kick himself for ever stooping this low. Coming to terms that he has no standards. Acting on it will be a different story, for now Hawke just wants to sleep. Try his best to stifle these feelings. The worst that could happen is if Sebastian were to come and share the same tent. He is certain that this was Varric’s tent. Hawke tossed about in his bed getting into a comfortable position, something was poking at his back. He reached behind to find the Chant of Light was the thing that was causing his disturbance.
Oh, no...
...This is Sebastian’s.
Hawke curled up in his blankets. He is trying to ignore his predicament, but it seems sleep will be highly improbable.
s
Re: I want to be a dragon
He thinks about Hawke's offer of privacy earlier, and now the staring, and he can't help but wonder if Hawke had been propositioning him after all. He very nearly chokes at the realization, because ever since his feelings for Hawke had first surfaced, he'd never once considered reciprocation.
He'd been propositioned before, after he took his vows, but it was always by people who were only attracted to the allure of someone out of reach. But Hawke had known he was a priest for a long time and if Hawke was choosing now to act, after they had gotten to know each other and become friends... It could mean that Hawke wanted him as more than an alluring and challenging bedmate. The thought made Sebastian dizzy.
Suddenly Hawke stammered out an excuse and all but ran to the nearest tent, and Sebastian couldn't help but wonder if his thoughts had shown on his face.
Aveline and Varric both stared after Hawke with matching looks of shock, but Sebastian felt his face burning and couldn't bring himself to turn.
"Hawke, are you all right?" Varric calls after him, but gets no answer, and then raises his eyebrows at Sebastian, "What did you say to him?"
"What-- Nothing!" Sebastian says immediately, looking startled and agitated until Varric starts to laugh.
"I'm kidding, Choir Boy, calm down," he says, and Sebastian breathes a sigh of relief, "What's got you all riled up? Finally caught onto Hawke's little crush?" Varric says, smirking, and Sebastian's mouth falls open in shock.
"Wh-what?" Sebastian asks, his mind reeling at the implication of Varric's teasing.
"All day long it's been Sebastian this, Sebastian that, honestly I'm surprised he didn't ask you to join him in his tent," Varric says, laughing, and Aveline interrupts before Varric can say anything else that will make his brain leak out his ears.
"Varric, honestly! That's unkind. You know Sebastian isn't like that," Aveline says, scolding, and Sebastian's mind is too agitated to respond.
"I think I'll head to sleep too," he says mechanically, standing up and heading over to his tent on autopilot.
It's not until he's laid down on his bedroll that he realizes someone else is already laying there.
"Hawke--?!" he says, startled, and scrambles up to back himself into the corner of the tent, his body tingling at the warmth of Hawke's body he'd felt through the blanket.
Re: I want to be a dragon
“O-oh, Sebastian!” Hawke sits up quickly. His worst fear, that tent rustling was coming from him. He looked directly at Sebastian, merely a few seconds but enough to get him anxious again.
Hawke starts sweating bullets. He felt his whole body get warm.
“I…didn’t realize this was your tent.” Hawke’s eyes shuffled around him. He couldn’t keep his head up or even look at him in the eye. He was still jumpy from before. His hands scrambled to find something to draw the conversation away. Away from what, Hawke wasn’t sure but he wanted it far.
His fingers loom behind him over the Chant of Light book.
Ah, this.
He clears his throat and picks up the book. He holds it up eagerly, forcing a small grin.
“Is it a good read? I’m not one for poetry but…”
What kind of question was that?
Mentally punishing himself for that. Spilling idiotic ramblings. He’s torn down his own censors and is speaking the first things that pop to his mind. He’s nervous and is doing a fantastic job of making an ass of himself.
He needs to quit while he’s ahead.
“Sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m tired.”
Hawke thinks up a cheap excuse, but anything to put that awkward ordeal behind.
“It’s not a problem if I sleep here? I can always move to Varric’s.”
As much as Hawke wanted to hang his head in shame he liked the thought of sharing the night with Sebastian.
Re: I want to be a dragon
When Hawke holds up the Chant and asks if it's a good read, with the most charming smile on, all of the anxiety and guilt and shame fades a little under the force of Hawke's shining personality. Sebastian smiles, laughing a little, and reaches out to take the book from Hawke.
"It's all right," he says, unable to deny the honest and open look on Hawke's face, even though sharing a tent with the man he's been lusting after is definitely a bad idea, "I don't mind you staying." He looks down at the Chant, running his fingers over the cover reverently and hoping to leech some strength from the pages.
"I find it enthralling at times, yes," Sebastian says with a small smile, then flips open the book to a place he's memorized, and he barely needs the read the words to recite them:
"Many are those who wander in sin,
Despairing that they are lost forever,
But the one who repents, who has faith
Unshaken by the darkness of the world,
And boasts not, nor gloats
Over the misfortunes of the weak, but takes delight
In the Maker's law and creations, she shall know
The peace of the Maker's benediction."
Sebastian blinks when he gets to a stopping place, realizing he's stepped into the arena of preaching, something he knew was not appreciated in this group. That particular verse, however, was one he'd returned to often over the years, and whenever he read it he remembered the hope of redemption. He falls silent, trailing his fingers over the worn page and searching for that strength again in the words, the strength to deny himself the pull of desire and pleasure.
Re: I want to be a dragon
“Well I’m not one for reading. Varric’s usually my source of story telling.” Hawke jested.
“But I would love to hear more about The Chant.” What he really meant is he wants to hear Sebastian talk.
“Indulge me sometime?” A playful suggestion.
Hawke is feeling more at ease knowing that he doesn’t need to leave. Although he’s still in a uneasy panic, he’s feeling much calmer.
Seeing Sebastian’s face when he asked about the Chant was endearing. Hawke could tell that this little book meant so much to him. He never thought someone who is engulfed by faith be so supportive and loyal. Hawke always presumed the preachings were just empty worded literature for sheep but to see a companion, no, a friend, be enthusiastic was charming. It made Sebastian interesting.
The butterflies in his stomach kept coming in waves. He would seesaw between collected and light headed. The more he thought about spending the night with Sebastian the more he realized what a reality it is. The feelings of love were filling his head as well more lustful fantasies. The idea of sleeping next to each other was an arousing one. Hawke will have to quell his needs in some discrete manner.
“It is getting late. Best we head off to bed!” Hawke rolls into his previous position, on his side, away from Sebastian. There would be no way he could sleep facing him.
“G’night, Sebastian.” Hawke whispers before wrapping himself in his blankets.
Re: I want to be a dragon
Sebastian is much slower in getting ready to sleep, dawdling as he removes his arm to buy himself a little bit of time before he has to lay down. He carefully removes the more restrictive parts of his armor until he's just in a loose tunic and breeches, and he makes sure his bow and quiver are within easy reach. Then he takes care to place the Chant aside, holding it for a moment longer to remind himself of his vows, his purpose, and why it was important to resist temptation.
By the time he pulls up one side of the blanket and lays down stiffly ten minutes have passed, and Sebastian desperately hopes that Hawke has fallen asleep already. As he lays down on his side, facing away from Hawke but still able to feel his body heat radiating across the small distance between them, he stares into the darkness of the side of the tent and wonder if he'll be able to sleep at all.
"Goodnight, Hawke," he says, quiet enough that he won't disturb Hawke if he's asleep.
Re: I want to be a dragon
Fresh roasted ham sounds wonderful right now.
The loaf of stale bread wasn’t exactly the greatest meal. That meal would be even better if he can enjoy it with his friends, especially Sebastian. Again that man plagues his thoughts.
Sebastian
Hawke would say his name over and over in his head. Each time would bring a more intimate feeling. He was such a handsome man, and to Hawke, his chastity was kind of alluring. Hawke didn’t understand why this was arousing. He fighting the urge to do anything about it. Sebastian was right there, what exactly could he do?
However he knew that his pent up desires would gradually build and keep him up all night. He debates that if there is no release, Hawke will sacrifice sleep. To journey back home without being in good condition isn’t wise. There could be bandits, wild animals, or dragons! He conjures up such a scenario just to make excuse of allowing to relieve himself.
This is for everyone’s protection, I can ‘polish my sword’ without him knowing. I never make a peep!
Hawke does a wonderful job convincing himself. His hands begin to make way under his leggings, knuckles brushing against the warm steel from his chainmail. His fingers circle around the head and his palms resting at the shaft. His grip tightened, a slow rhythmic jerk commences. He could feel the heat radiating off his body, his member was already slightly stiff previous but now that he is touching it, it wouldn’t take long for it to lengthen. He was still silent, the entire tent was silent, it was a bit eerie. Nonetheless he continued stroking his arousal, it felt damp, from the sweat of his palms. Hawke was sweating, profusely, this entire event was just erotic. Being next to the man he crushed and doing something so confidential, it was exciting. Hawke’s breath started to get heavy, each stroke would send pleasure up and down. His thumb would roll over the tip and would make him shiver. He felt head was gathering precum, Hawke knew it wouldn’t be long. He’s been good so far, he’s been silent minus a few deep pants.
Sebastian
He kept muttering that name over and over in his head. He wants him so bad. Hawke’s desire to kiss him, to hold him him. His smell, his voice, his body, Hawke craved it. His imagination was taking over. Imagining Sebastian greedily taking his cock, running his tongue over it. Hawke was crumbling over this fantasy. His hands made stronger jerks, he couldn’t help but thrust into his grip. His hips bucking softly in his bed. His body was writhing.
Take it easy, Garrett, you’ll wake him
Hawke’s other hand located itself on his mouth. He’s taking precaution, not a sound can slip from his lips. His cock was throbbing, he felt his heartbeat in his entire body. He is so close, almost there. He’s taking longer, deeper breaths. Sweat beading off his brow. Taking a small pause to make sure Sebastian hasn’t woken up. Silent. The signs checked out and Hawke returns to business. His hands and shaft were lubricated in sweat, it made slippery noises as he tugged away. It was small enough, perhaps they won’t alert Sebastian, Hawke hoped. The steady jerking patterns were getting more haste. Hawke was getting in the heat of it, his muscles were tensing and his whole body began to cramp up.
Oh, Maker. I’m close.
Perverted thoughts enter his mind, dreaming of Sebastian one more. Ideas surrounding where Sebastian let’s Hawke enter him. Fantasizing his manhood thrusting inside the Chantry boy, seeing Sebastian smiling back, seeing him flushed and hot. Hawke went harder. Make him beg, make Sebastian want it. Hawke’s dream was overtaking, his moans were slipping. They were small but vocal enough to be heard. Hawke is losing control. He is getting aggressive in his thrusts, his hands are being careless. Palms are jerking violently, his head is swelling, he can feel it coming. Fingers are all around, lacing up and downwards, he can hear his own breathing, feel his body tensing.
S-Sebastian. Sebastian, I’m coming.
“Mhmm.”
He gripped the end of his pillow, Hawke’s face buried into his arm trying to quiet himself. His cock had shot all over his hands. His fingers held his thick cum, unsure what to do with it he just wipes excess on his stomach.
Hawke takes notice at the silent of the tent. It was as before but somehow felt broken. He was a bit worried, he was so sure he wasn’t going to make any disturbances.
I hope he didn’t hear that…
Perhaps it was nothing. Sebastian had to be sleeping. Hawke was discrete, or he believed so. Tired finally, Hawke brushes it off. He feels much better after that and was ready to rest.
Re: I want to be a dragon
At first he thinks nothing of the rustling; just assumed Hawke is shifting in his sleep, until he heard Hawke's breathing change. There's no other sounds to drown out Hawke's movements, even Varric and Aveline have gone silent outside the tent, so Sebastian notices immediately when Hawke's breathing goes low and deliberate. He has an idea for why Hawke's breathing was like that but he denies it--Hawke is most likely just dreaming.
But then the sounds increase in volume and frequency. They're building up to something, and then Sebastian hears the slick sound of skin moving against slightly moist skin, rapid rubbing that Sebastian can identify without a doubt.
Hawke is... touching himself.
Sebastian's eyes are wide as he stares into the darkness, and he can feel his face heating up. He should cover his ears, or let Hawke know that he's awake, but even as he thinks it he knows he won't do anything like that. He lays there, still and tense, not daring to move except to cover his mouth with hand.
He's hard in his breeches so fast this his head spins, and he has to breathe slowly and carefully so that Hawke won't hear he's awake. Hawke is obviously taking every precaution to keep himself quiet but all that really does is make Sebastian strain harder to hear every sound, and then every cut-off gasp and muffled heavy breath is even more alluring.
Masturbation isn't exactly forbidden in the Chantry, at least not to devotees, and Sebastian had heard of other priests who had taken vows and still indulged in masturbation as a kind of meditation, a way to clear the mind of worldly thoughts and relieve stress, but Sebsatian had been unable to subscribe to the same practice. This was mostly because of the thoughts he couldn't purge whenever he touched himself, thoughts that made the gray area of self-pleasure into the definitely sinful.
One of his hands clamped tightly over his mouth and the other curled around his own wrist, as he used every ounce of self-denial he possessed to resist touching himself.
He wanted to badly to see the image that went along with Hawke's sounds, he wanted to see his cock and how Hawke liked it touched. His mouth watered at the thought of how close he was to Hawke's erection, how easy it would be to roll over, push Hawke onto his back and swallow him down.
Sebastian closes his eyes, his expression twisting into one of pain as his whole body tensed against the urge to touch. Hawke's voice was incredible, even in just the tiny glimpses Sebastian was getting from across the tent. He felt on the edge already, even untouched, and he wondered with shock if he could come untouched just from hearing Hawke's voice.
Just as Sebastian was nearing the end of his rope, on the precipice of breaking and grabbing his own cock, Hawke moaned louder than he had yet and fell silent. Sebastian nearly cried out, nearly whimpered because he felt so close, and Hawke couldn't be done yet, not when Sebastian hadn't been able to move his hands into his pants yet. He bites down hard on his own hand, swallowing down the noises that desperately want to crawl out of his throat.
Behind him, Hawke is quiet and calm, no doubt falling asleep completely sated, while Sebastian feels like his world is crumbling, like there's nothing that matters more in the world than coming now. He wants Hawke to grab him, put his hands in his hair and pull hard, tear at his close and wrap a hand around his cock, make him come screaming and shaking.
Silent, frustrated tears leak out of his eyes when he squeezes them shut, and he knows he won't touch himself. He knows he should be proud of himself for resisting temptation, but it doesn't feel like that. There's a thrill in this, too, in denying himself satisfaction. It feels like the only thing he's resisted is an orgasm; he wants Hawke no less, and the wicked fantasies have not stopped--only gotten worse, really, now that he has the memory of gasps and moans to put to his thoughts.
Sebastian lays there, tense and hard, for what feels like hours. After a very long time his erection finally wilts, and Sebastian can relax enough to fall into a fitful, unsatisfactory sleep for whatever's left of the night.